


Join   Me  In  Hell   (completed)

by ckit3



Series: In  Fire  Reborn [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alliances, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Fate, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mafia AU, Mafia Victor Nikiforov, Mild Smut, Past Abuse, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Stripper Katsuki Yuuri, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Trust Issues, Violence, a little fluff, hitman/stripper yuuri katsuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-31 23:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckit3/pseuds/ckit3
Summary: A Yuri on Ice Mafia  AU   -Rescued  from a life of poverty and abuse Yuuri Katsuki  was taken in and raised by  Celestino Cialdani  - a man who ensured Yuuri would thrive once he learned to use his looks and talents to his advantage.   Now he was a  famous model and  exotic dancer , skilled in getting whatever he wanted using everything he'd learned.  No man could resist the temptation he offered,  all were easy prey.  They would give anything for  Yuuri's attention ,  some would even pay the ultimate price  for such an honor.Yuuri would do anything for the man who saved his life.He couldn't have guessed how his life would change the day  Celestino introduced Yuuri to  his  newest assistant, a man  of such beauty and power  he was stunned.   Viktor Nikiforov  was the one thing Yuuri truly wanted to possess and the one man seemingly immune to his charms.Yuuri wasn't one to give up so easily.He would find a way to make Viktor his, even if it was the last thing he did.





	1. Where  Fools  Rush  In

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you will enjoy this little Mafia au story, featuring a stripper/dancer/model Yuuri (the Homme Fatale) who is a trained hitman under Celestino Cialdani and an established Mafia associate on loan from Russia Viktor.  
> An angst filled journey about fate and hope and other things... whose ending was inspired by a non YOI doujinshi I found one day and I wanted to adapt and expand on the story.
> 
> I haven't decided just how smutty if at all the interesting part will be. If you don't mind angst, this is for you.

That day.

The day that changed everything.

Something happened that he would remember for the rest of his life. 

It was the day he decided that whatever power that may or may not exist, whatever may or may not be watching over the idiots that inhabited this world, it was certainly taking great joy in screwing with his life. 

Why did it seem that the very moment things were going along smoothly, when he was beginning to feel comfortable and secure in his surroundings-- that was the exact moment the floor would collapse beneath him. This was an unending cycle he'd experienced since he first began to remember things, a child far too young to understand how cruel and unfair life cold be. Perhaps he was taught this lesson far too early as well. 

There are things a child should not be concerned with. 

The first years of Yuuri Katsuki's life were pleasant, happy. He remembered feeling safe and loved. Back then he had no idea what his father did to make the money necessary for them to continue on in their lifestyle, it was of no concern. His mother was there to feed him, bathe and dress him and make him smile. During those days she was his world. There was also his sister who often helped in the care and feeding of young Yuuri. His father was different, his love not so outward, his smiles much rarer. 

He was young when his mother and sister were no longer there. Too young to fully understand why they would simply leave him alone with a father who seemed eager to blame Yuuri for their absence. The man began to lose himself to drinking. Drinking brought out the anger and that was brought down upon a boy who did not know why his life had altered so much so fast. Why his place of love and happiness and safety made him feel alone and frightened. 

Celestino Cialdani, the man his father worked for showed up one night after his father had drank even more than his usual overindulgence in various types of liquors , shouting at his father and accusing him of being a weak fool who was embarrassing the family. Being a frightened child at the time Yuuri saw only someone who was hurting his father. He remembered being in tears as the stranger grabbed his thin and bruised form, intent on removing him from the only home had known. For all he understood at the time, all families were like his, all fathers got angry and hit their children. 

That was the night Yuuri was taken from his home, fighting and screaming, by that angry man, the man who told Yuuri a boy with his looks was being wasted here. He would show Yuuri how to make the world fall to its knees at his feet, to make men desperate for him. He would learn to use and no longer be used.

That wasn't exactly what happened. Even now Yuuri was being used. He was a tool others used to get what they wanted. But Yuuri had learned. The scared little boy was now the most famous dancer in all the clubs, the highest paid and most sought after dancer and model whose image graced all the finest magazines and all across the internet. He had countless followers in reality and on social media. But that was only part of who Yuuri Katsuki had become. 

The other side very few were aware of. For most who discovered his secret didn't live long enough to tell. 

If nothing else, life had taught Yuuri how to survive. 

He arrived at Celestino's office at an hour he deemed too damn early even if it was nearly 1 in the afternoon. Heavy shades generally kept the light from invading his apartment after returning home from work, now he was being forced out into the too bright day to meet the car sent to pick him up. Shades helped a little but his head still throbbed in protest. He hadn't gotten in until 3 that morning, his duties at the club kept him far later than he intended and being woken up not long after he'd finally managed to find sleep made him more than a little cranky. He knew he couldn't refuse Celestino, he owed the man far too much and he insisted this was important. Last night's messy business had been cleaned up, all had gone very well so Yuuri doubted he would be scolded. He rarely made mistakes these days, practice, hard work and experience made him what he was today. 

As usual he was taken by car to the back of that familiar building, led in secretly. Yuuri sat in the back, concealed by darkened windows, checking his phone for responses to last night's posts. Images and videos of his newest routine flooded the stream, all with the usual likes and comments. He would never admit that he always felt a touch of anxiety when performing a new routine for the first time. But it seemed he had no reason to fear. Celestino would be leased as well, his best asset hadn't yet lost his edge. 

The car stopped around the back of the building, it was imperative that no one could ever tie him to Celestino directly, or to the family. He worked at Celestino's club, was their best and highest paid dancer who was lucky enough to also capture some excellent modeling gigs. His side jobs had to be kept under tight wraps. 

It pleased him to notice how he could obtain such looks of desire from anyone he passed on his way to meet Celestino, even when he was certain he didn't appear at anything near his best. He had barely enough time to rush through a shower, pull on the first pair of jeans he could locate and one of his older t-shirts. Yuuri was grateful that the lenses of his glasses adjusted to harsh glare of sunlight and concealed his eyes. Celestino wanted him to meet someone important today and he needed to look his part, the hot and sexy Yuuri, and not the tired and hungover one he was at the moment. Yuuri wasn't nearly as capable of handling his drinking like his boss was. He walked the hallways with lithe,confident strides, got on the elevator, keeping silent to greetings and taking in the attention he gathered, making his way to the room he sought. 

Celestino didn't call him here often. Usually they met elsewhere, in more secure and private settings, far from any eyes or ears. But he'd been told today was special, that Celestino had a friend and associate from a family in Russia they were allied with, that they'd be working together for a time on some jobs that he was told would mutually benefit both families. There would also be some traveling, performing and modeling so Yuuri was looking forward to this meeting. Celestino always spoke highly of this man. 

Celestino smiled warmly as Yuuri opened the door and stepped inside the massive office, a large window overlooking the city letting in more of that offending sunlight making Yuuri squint against the onslaught. 

"There he is, arriving right on cue, " Celestino had been talking to his guest, a tall,lean muscled man with white/blonde hair and wearing an expensive, most likely hand tailored suit, whose back was facing Yuuri. "It's about time the two of you met, Yuuri Katsuki this is Viktor Nikiforov my friend and associate who until recently has been hiding away in Russia."

The man turned to face him and everything came to an abrupt halt in Yuuri's mind and body. 

Celestino continued talking but the words never quite made it completely into Yuuri's mind. 

"Viktor, this is Yuuri- The results of my best work in my opinion. " Celestino's hand was on the man's back as he turned. " If you would have seen him as a child you'd never suspect this was that same child. "

It was probably for the best that Yuuri's mind did not fully register those words, he was too focused on the man, on Viktor, to be aware of anything else. Brilliantly gorgeous ocean colored eyes regarded him with what Yuuri would later call careful disinterest. There wasn't even a hint of what he usually saw in the eyes of others who met him for the first time. Still that gaze burned into Yuuri's very soul like nothing he'd ever felt before. The heat threatened to consume him already and Viktor made no move to touch him. He only stood there regarding Yuuri in silence as if he were contemplating which tie would best compliment his current suit and mood. If Yuuri were capable of independent thought at the moment he might be offended since he normally took great pride in his efforts to maintain his appearance. There was also that small but lingering sense of doubt he'd carried with him since childhood---but nothing else mattered right now.

Viktor bowed his head slightly in a vague acknowledgment of Yuuri's presence. "I'm told we will be working together while I am here." his voice was as captivating as its owner, his accent adding a thin layer of richness to its tones. "I am interested in discovering if everything Celestino has told me about you is truth. "

Yuuri forced himself to calm, to take on the well practiced image that had gotten him to where he was. If Viktor meant to challenge his talents Yuuri was more than eager to meet that challenge. Something told him this would not be easy but it had been a long time since he'd been so intrigued, so very wanting of something. 

"I have every intention of going far beyond any of your expectations, " Yuuri said, assuming his most fetching smile and demeanor. "Viktor." 

If he was not mistaken, and he rarely was, Yuuri caught a hint of interest in those eyes. Perhaps Viktor was indeed challenging him, and Yuuri couldn't resist. Yuuri knew how to get what he wanted. He was more than prepared to do whatever it might take to achieve the goals he desired.

It was rare when Yuuri couldn't figure someone out within seconds after meeting. It happened to be one of his many talents, something he found quite useful in his work. This man, however, eluded his efforts. Yuuri felt intrigued. He was far beyond questioning his own judgement regarding this matter.

At the moment there was nothing Yuuri desired more than this beautiful enigma of a man standing so calmly before him.  
It consumed him unlike anything he's experienced before. 

He wanted Viktor , more than he ever wanted anyone or anything before and Yuuri Katsuki wasn't one to give up without a fight. After all he really didn't like losing.


	2. What  Happened  In  Vegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of things Yuuri will probably never remember about a certain part of their visit to Las Vegas, but Viktor will never forget.   
> Their first day is filled with many things, good and bad, every moment of this day will make Viktor certain of one inescapable fact---Yuuri Katsuki is a man in need of help but Viktor isn't sure he's capable of handling the challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's actually fun to write drunk Yuuri, but I don't like everything he has to go through.
> 
> This chapter is a bit long but breaking it up didn't seem right. This is also going to be a ride as far as emotions are concerned and I hope you like where it takes you.   
> This story is rated mature and it will deal with some issues, some of them indirectly.

Everything that happened after had been part of the plan. Celestino's grand plan, one that he was very proud of. He made all of it sound amazing , a once in a lifetime opportunity and Yuuri believed every last word of it. 

It was time, he had decided, for Yuuri Katsuki to take full advantage of his current popularity and go on tour. Considering the fact that Yuuri wasn't getting any younger and that there were always younger, talented and unique people more than willing to take their opportunities to be in the spotlight, now would be perfect. To this end Celestino had made arrangements in several cities, booking at clubs, photography sessions and also making deals so that Yuuri might be able to fully utilize his talents. Yuuri would be expected to perform his honor bound duties to the family. 

At least he would not be traveling alone this time. Viktor Nikiforov seemed to have been brought over from Russia not only to serve as Celestino's right hand man but also to keep his prized possession out of trouble. Viktor had been unaware and it took some convincing from his old friend before he relented. 

Yuuri, on the other hand, couldn't have been happier. 

They were instructed to start in Las Vegas. Yuuri had to agree that this was an excellent place to begin everything that Celestino and those higher up than him had planned. This wasn't his first time, he'd been obligated to perform at the certain casino owned and operated by the family for both large and more private performances. Yuuri might not be a full member of the family but he was still bonded to them through Celestino and he could not refuse any job offered to him. He owed Celestino everything. That fact remained in his mind especially when asked to do things he might otherwise find distasteful. 

Yuuri had seduced and disposed of his first man here. Back then he'd been sloppy,careless and nearly got caught. For punishment he was forced to face Celestino's anger. He'd improved since then. He had no other choice. 

Yuuri had gotten used to doing their dirty work for them. It was all part of his work, using his talents to obtain desired results. They trusted him, he'd never let them down. 

Yuuri wondered what might be necessary to obtain what he wanted from the man ordered to accompany him as personal assistant and bodyguard? There were many possibilities to explore and a few weeks to try out all of them and Yuuri did enjoy a challenge. The men he usually targeted were either for work or pleasure, most of them gave in far too eagerly. 

Sometimes the whole process could be boring, so he did what he could to create his own fun. 

Maybe that was where the idea started from. Once they were settled into their suit with its two adjoining bedrooms he was certainly in the mood for some fum. The journey here had been long and boring and all the lights,noises and crowds in this city no longer kept his interest. 

Yuuri considered it quite an achievement, having convinced Viktor to accompany him to the stage so he could practice his newest routine. He did need to adjust it to fit the stage, but in truth he wanted a chance to show off a little. This was probably his one chance to give him a private dance. He wanted to get some sort of response from that man and his ice cold eyes. 

"This will be so much better with the professional sound and lighting during the show tonight but I wanted to get an outside opinion on my newest routine." Yuuri set the unit he was carrying down, crouching to set the options and select the proper music. It won't be nearly as loud as it will be in the show but it would suffice. 

"There's a chair over there, have a seat and get comfortable. I'm not going to do the exact routine, just the stuff I need to adjust and I'm looking for your honest opinion."

Viktor nodded, taking his place in the chair as Yuuri started the music and walked to the pole set into the stage. "I don't have much choice in this, I was told to stick close to you and keep you out of trouble. "

That made Yuuri smile. "I feel sorry for you..."

"Just get this over with." 

Yuuri Katsuki put everything he had into his performance, intent on showing Viktor how skilled he was dancing on the stage and the pole. He'd spent many years training with instructors hired by Celestino, the best he could find and spent many hours in practice every week. It was said that no one matched his skill or the passion he felt and shared with anyone lucky enough to watch him perform. Along the way he discarded his shirt, sweat had caused it to cling tightly to his chest and the tear away pants soon joined it. Each time he glanced in that direction he was pleased to see that Viktor's eyes never left him. 

He hadn't looked away. Not even once. 

His dancing had been called an experience by many sources on social media, validating the praise lavished on him by his countless fans. Many of those fans expressed wishes that they could be that lucky pole clung to by various parts of Yuuri as he went through his routine, losing himself to the music and the images in his mind. 

Yuuri stood breathing hard from his efforts, beads of sweat dotting his face,rolling down his mostly naked, lean sculpted form as he posed proudly before Viktor. He was also feeling quite relieved to notice that he wasn't the only person on that stage who was affected by his performance. It seemed the man was at least somewhat human. Viktor shifted in his chair suddenly looking uncomfortable under Yuuri's heated gaze. Good, he hadn't lost his touch. That was a very good sign. Not breaking that gaze he strode languidly toward the seated man, taking his time and heady with triumph. Viktor was clearly fighting what he must be feeling and Yuuri felt sorry for him. 

"So, how did you like it?" he kept his tone casual, knowing how much better it could be if he let his intended victim suffer for a time before offering release. 

"You are quite talented." 

Yuuri smirked knowingly, dropping down to his knees at Viktor's feet still keeping his eyes locked on the older man's. "You have no idea, Viktor... but I can show you." now his gaze fell on that noticeable bulge in the crotch of his obnoxiously expensive pants. "I can help you with that if you want. " one hand settled on one of Viktor's knees, the fingers of his other hand ghosting over that bulge, teasing closeness. "I want to...." a softer, near pleading tone now. 

Viktor's body stiffened, making an attempt at forced control. "I don't know what Celestino normally asks of you but you don't have to do this."

Yuuri frowned, "I'm not doing this for him, " irritation was creeping back into him, threatening to ruin the mood. Now he traced that bulge, feeling a response, "This part of you is enjoying things. I'm very good at it, Viktor, never had one complaint. "

"Just stop this, it's meaningless." Viktor was protesting despite his discomfort.

"Meaningless? Why does it have to mean anything?" Yuuri was growing more annoyed and more confused. Emotion had little to do with this. It's a necessary release of tension, enjoyable in the moment and nothing beyond that. "I can make you feel better than you can imagine and I'm sure I'll enjoy it too so why not?"

Viktor responded by shoving him away roughly and getting up to his feet, obviously more than a little upset as he regarded Yuuri's confused, hurt honey colored eyes where he remained seated on the floor. This was an action that obviously required explanation, if Yuuri hadn't been far too stunned and oddly embarrassed to care to hear whatever Viktor might say. 

It wasn't long before anger echoed in Yuuri's eyes. He rose to his feet, facing the taller, larger man with absolutely no fear. "Maybe you find the thought of me repulsive but you don't have to be a complete bastard about it. "

Yuuri had no idea what this ice cold Russian was thinking. He'd never been rejected and that confused him. There was no choice left but to leave Viktor to deal with his current problem on his own so he turned his back on the man and headed off the stage, inwardly daring Viktor to come after him.

But he never did. 

 

The show went far better than Yuuri expected, relentlessly displaying its theme -Exploration of Seduction- through several performances, two of them by Yuuri. The place was nearly at capacity and the audience responded very well to each performance loudly, overpowering even the music more than once. He wasn't the only performer, but he was the one the crowd made the most noise for. Both his routines, the newest and the old favorite were very well received. Men and women were screaming for him long after he departed the stage. The responses, the attention usually brought him pleasure. After his complete failure that morning he made it a point to ignore Viktor, giving him only non verbal responses to whatever he said. His performance, the success of the entire show that night, should have overshadowed any humiliation that might remain in his mind. No matter what he did what happened would not stop bothering him. 

The Russian man was beginning to annoy him in ways Yuuri could not fathom. His response might not have been anything displaying good judgement. He hadn't felt so reckless in years, so far beyond caring about the consequences of his actions. 

Closing his ears to Viktor's objections on the matter Yuuri wore skin tight black pants, an expensive designer printed t-shirt, shoes and jacket and headed to the after party he'd been invited to. He knew Viktor would be following but he no longer cared. His main purpose in attending this party on instructions form Celestino was to locate two men who were supposed to be guarding an important man. Who this other man was he wouldn't be told, his identity was irrelevant. It was Yuuri's duty to keep them busy for awhile, gain all the information he could and report back to his boss. He was allowed to be creative in how he went about his mission and he'd been told they were fans of his. 

All things considered this should have been an easy mission. It would have been if Yuuri hadn't felt compelled to start drinking. Yuuri would probably not remember anything that happened that night, but Viktor bore witness too everything. 

In the beginning it started out harmlessly enough, Yuuri was making his way through the guests until he found what he sought. From his actions Viktor had assumed this was part of his intended mission, since he was devoting a lot of effort into flirting with two men. The troubling parts began when things advanced, Yuuri was moving quickly and making certain Viktor noticed when he began becoming clingy. It wasn't very long after they slipped out of the hall that someone returned talking about a fight going on outside. Something was going on and Viktor left to discover what trouble his charge must have gotten himself into, regretting that he'd neglected to follow after him earlier. 

Outside the banquet hall, near the garbage bins, that was where they were. 

"Is there something I might be able to help you with?" Viktor said as he scanned the men, four of them in total including the one with a tight grip on Yuuri's neck. 

"This is none of your concern, our issue is with this little pig." the man holding Yuuri spat out the words, "Damn thing threw up on me just when it was getting good."

Viktor forced himself to ignore the evidence of what had happened here before his arrival, focusing on the task at hand. "It would be to your benefit if you drop him and walk away now." a warning. He had to give them a choice, it wasn't fair not to. 

"Don't think you want to get that suit dirty, looks expensive." another of the men told him. 

Viktor did like this suit, he'd feel bad if it was ruined but what could he do? The first thug released Yuuri, deciding to join his friends as they advanced on the well dressed intruder. Yuuri watched with wide eyed wonder as Viktor proceeded to beat all of them with surprising skill until they were either lying bruised and bloodied on the pavement or making a hasty retreat. In the end his shirt was ripped beyond repair, the jacket and pants dirty but he'd accomplished the task. He walked over to Yuuri who coughed a few times and wiped at his face with the sleeve of his jacket.

"That was so cool..." 

Viktor sighed deeply, grabbing Yuuri's arm and leading him to the door. 

Yuuri was surprisingly strong and agile, making it extremely difficult for Viktor to get him into the room ignoring the wary looks from people they passed hearing the incredibly drunk Japanese man declaring happily that he was being kidnapped. He had long since stopped trying to get his captive to be quiet, his demands only eliciting comments and questions about what methods of torture Viktor would be using on him. At least no one seemed to be taking Yuuri seriously. Arriving at the door to their suite Viktor couldn't get the door open fast enough, since Yuuri was now announcing to the empty room that he was going to be punished. Something he seemed far too happy about. 

 

Viktor put Yuuri down outside the door to his bedroom, opened the door,turned on the light and shoved him inside. He left Yuuri only long enough to open the bathroom door for him, grabbing the robe from its hook and throwing it on the bed. 

"Clean yourself up and get to bed, we will talk about this in the morning." it was an order, given in his harshest tone, one that usually commanded respect.

Tomorrow he would be able to think clearly and make a more rational decision on how to handle Yuuri from now on. Tonight he wasn't sure he could trust himself. He was being tested. 

Yuuri was laughing. "No,no,no...you're no fun." he was clearly enjoying himself as he stumbled his way toward Viktor. . "You are going to have to make me. "

Viktor shut his eyes, forcing calm and wondering how he got into this situation. This was not what he needed right now. What he needed was time to consider the events of this past day. 

"Just listen to me, go to bed, sleep this off. " Viktor said in reply "You're in no shape for this and I am in no mood for an argument."

"No--I haven't thanked you for saving me yet." Yuuri was there, too close and doing his best to get his hands beneath Viktor's torn shirt. "Did I tell you how sexy you look in this suit," he was looking up at Viktor now, eyes wide and shining like bronze. "You'd look sooo much better without any clothes on I think."

"You have no idea what you're doing and I won't allow you to do something stupid." 

"Celestino won't mind, " Yuuri's slurred words were not helping anything.

It only made Viktor feel worse. How had Celestino raised Yuuri? What the hell was he being taught? 

He did his best but now Yuuri was pulling him toward the large bed, and Viktor fought against himself for control. He couldn't deny the temptation , even knowing how much he would regret giving in. This wasn't right. He had witnessed Yuuri at the party, how he acted before the alcohol took over and for reasons he couldn't understand at the moment he only felt an urge to protect Yuuri. This and so many other thoughts and emotions were crowding his mind. He'd known Celestino for many years, they'd done missions together, he'd trusted the man with his life.

Now he was starting to question Celestino's actions. 

In all the chaos, as his attention returned to his present situation, Yuuri had him pinned down on the bed and was tracing his now exposed chest with fingers and lips. He'd made a mistake, gave the younger man an advantage and even drunk Yuuri's instincts were sharp. He was muttering things in what must be Japanese, intent on driving Viktor mad and at the moment Viktor considered throwing him off, Yuuri collapsed on top of him. 

He laid there for a few minutes, steadying his own breathing and listening to the younger man's soft snoring. Disengaging himself from the passed out man, Viktor got up from the bed and set about getting him settled under the covers once he removed his shoes. That accomplished he stood there regarding the sleeping young man, astonished at how peaceful, content and almost childlike he appeared now. It was hard to believe this was the same creature of passion that made so many want him only hours before. 

This was not going to be easy. Not at all. The private dance had been the start of it, making Viktor wonder just how he was going to manage this mission. He couldn't tell Celestino what had happened, couldn't let on about his suspicions by asking too many questions and now he was thinking about doing something he'd never considered before. Yuuri was trouble and in Viktor's opinion, held onto some messed up ideas about how to interact with others and he thought he really should make excuses and get out while he still could. Yakov would vouch for him. He'd go back to Russia and leave this mess far behind. 

Caring about someone else was trouble. It created complications. But he had a terrible feeling that something was breaking inside Yuuri. Something that might be beyond repair.

Viktor sat on the bed's edge, feeling defeated and exhausted as he watched Yuuri sleep, reaching out to pat his head carefully. 

"What am I going to do with you now?" 

it was a question to no one in particular and as expected he received no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when the next chapter will be posted, need to decide what city they will be going to next. I already decided the two after this next one and I am working on the next to the last chapter now. Hopefully in the next 10 days I'll finish the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, this story will be tough on the feels at times but I hope you will stick it out until the ending.


	3. Reaching  Out  Into  The  Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day. 
> 
> More insight into Yuuri as he faces the new day and a very annoyed Viktor.

His mind struggling its way out of the darkness Yuuri had a horrible feeling of impending doom. It was a familiar sensation, all the signs were there as well, everything screaming to him that he'd probably done some seriously stupid things the night before. He knew better than to drink, he wasn't able to handle himself well and his only saving grace seemed to be that he never remembered anything. He was in his own bed, no one else was in the bed and though his entire body felt sore he was not in very bad shape. Attempting opening his eyes the sudden introduction of too bright light was startling, someone had opened the curtains allowing the sun to focus right on him. Groaning he shut his eyes, wanting nothing more than a return to the welcoming arms of sleep. The bed was comfortable, the pillows soft beneath his head and the covers embracing his sore body in warmth offering the solace he desired so very much right now. 

Why he believed that would be allowed he didn't know. It certainly wasn't the worst of his actions lately. 

"Finally you rejoin the living, " Viktor's harsh tone shattered any hope of sleeping his hangover off more completely. "I was about to take action."

Yuuri wanted only to disappear into the covers and kept his back facing the source of that voice. It might be pointless in thinking maybe he'd just give up and walk away but it was worth a shot. 

"Just leave me here so I can die in peace. " a quiet plea, even his own voice seemed remarkably loud. 

"You know I am not allowed to do that. " Viktor said in reply, his usual calm now tinged with irritation. "I would appreciate you proving to me that the praise Celestino spoke of you is not misdirected. You have duties that must be tended to."

"Reschedule whatever it is, " Yuuri had absolutely no desire to face anyone or anything beyond this bed. 

"No." 

In one abrupt motion Viktor grabbed and removed the covers Yuuri had wrapped himself in. His cry in protest was met only with more demands.

"You will get up, get yourself cleaned up, dressed and ready for your appointment so that we will be on time. I will not accept excuses, you've done enough damage with last night's antics." somehow his accent became more noticeable as his anger rose. "Be grateful I was able to manage the situation and avoid having Celestino discover your attempts at embarrassing us both."

That didn't make sense. "Huh? " Viktor wasn't the one who had probably made a complete fool of himself during an important party filled with people of great power and influence. Yuuri doubted Viktor would ever be so weak.

 

still with his back facing Viktor, Yuuri sat up slowly, his first try producing only the odd feeling that everything in the room was moving except his own body. His stomach lurched in response. After a couple attempts he succeeded , sitting on the bed's edge with his head down and in his hands. It would have been nice to be able to make Viktor blink out of existance so he could be alone with his shame. 

"Why do you say both of us?" Yuuri still didn't understand.

"I am tasked with you so what you do reflects on me and I will not have your mistakes destroy what has taken me my lifetime to achieve. " Viktor said 

"Lucky you, looking after the family's treasured pet." Yuuri groaned, turning to glare at the man standing on the other side completely calm, dressed and ready for the day. "If I try hard enough I might be able to hate you. "

"At least it would be a genuine emotion," Viktor shot back "You are expected downstairs for an important photo and video promotional shoot in two hours. I would prefer if we arrived early but I will accept on time. We will discuss last night's events later."

"I'm looking forward to it." Yuuri was not a good liar but he was beyond caring. "Try to be a little quieter,okay? I was supposed to do something last night, wasn't I? "

"Now you show concern for your duties?" Viktor sighed, giving the impression that he was holding himself in check. "Everything has been taken care of, there will be no talk of what happened by anyone else. Since it is regrettably my problem as well I've been considering plans on how to proceed despite the damage you caused. The mission is salvageable. "

Yuuri wasn't sure he was salvageable but Viktor was right, they had obligations that could not be ignored. The well dressed, immaculately groomed and distant man watched Yuuri stumble his way toward the suite's shared bathroom. He managed enough energy to flip Viktor off before shutting the door and separating them. 

Why the hell was he allowing this man to affect him so much? Yuuri was usually the one in control and he liked things that way. He couldn't control his life completely and his influence over others beyond Celestino was a refuge. 

Why was Viktor insisting on barging into his private life uninvited and unwanted? Why was Yuuri allowing it?

 

Standing in the shower Yuuri allowed the hot water to run over his body, changing the settings to a steady pulse of water that hit him almost like a massage. He'd accepted the pain pills and orange juice Viktor shoved at him before seeking refuge here in the bathroom and the horrible throbbing in his head was easing enough for him to think. Not that he really wanted to, but he had no choice. He'd messed up and now faced the consequences. 

There was a secret to all of this, a mixture of talent,natural charisma and many exhausting hours of practice. Along the way you learned what worked and what didn't, how to tease and tempt but never deliver on the unspoken promises you make and yet keep them coming back for more. The art of making each individual fan in the audience yearning for your attention believe,if only for a moment, that you danced for them alone. That somehow you found them among the crowds that desperately hoped for just a glance in their direction, you found them and they were the one you truly wanted. You created a fantasy, an escape from whatever reality they wished to flee from if only for a brief moment. This was the unspoken contract, the perceived agreement between seducer and the object of his attention. Breaking the illusion was forbidden, most of the time, money and influence could always open doors impenetrable by others. 

Yuuri preferred the stage shows over the private ones. The illusion was far easier to maintain under the lights and music for both himself and the audience. Reality too often forced its way into his mind when in the restricting confines of private rooms, here he lost control over the situation far too often as the customer was paying for what he wanted. Here, as it happened countless times before, money and power could make pesky things such as rules and the basic constraints that kept a person in check disappear as if they never existed. It became easy to shut himself away from others, to become immune to everything and everyone around him. He would be what they wanted, locking whatever true part of himself remained as deep as possible in his mind and allow nothing to touch his heart. 

Existing in his own illusions was preferable over reality. 

For some reason Viktor Nikiforov had caused cracks to form in the walls protecting Yuuri from reality. It annoyed him immensely, and if not for the enforced necessity of the Russian's presence in his life Yuuri would have told him to fuck off and do whatever he had to in order to make certain Viktor would stay far away forever. He was making mistakes. Mistakes could cost him everything. Yuuri didn't like thinking what might become of him if Celestino no longer found him useful. He could easily be taken away, sold off to be someone's property and used as his owner wished. That kind of thing wasn't unheard of. Yuuri had known more than one fellow dancer who simply went missing and would always be told not to ask questions. 

Yuuri didn't want to know what he'd done the night before and hoped Viktor would spare him most of the details. The little flashes of memory darting through his brain told him that talking about it would not be a pleasant experience. He could cover the thankfully light bruising with makeup, experience had taught him that talent along with his others but some scars makeup could never conceal. It was true he'd put both of them in danger since Celestino asked Viktor to look after him. He owed Viktor big time and that knowledge only added to the annoyance and humiliation he felt. 

A loud insistent banging on the door broke Yuuri out of his thoughts, followed by Viktor reminding him about his appointment for the promotional shoot. 

It was definitely going to be one of those days. 

 

Throughout the photo shoot Viktor was a constant presence, reminding Yuuri with that ice cold stare that foolish mistakes would no longer be tolerated. He was grateful for all the people surrounding him, the rush of makeup artists,lighting, photographers, wardrobe and the other dancers diverted his attention. Now was not the time to be wondering over the night before. Yuuri could shine here, lavished with attention and praise it was easy to fall back into the illusion. Those long ago days of innocence and naivete experienced when he first began this life, when Celestino felt confident in showing off his prize, that shell was discarded and left behind. Now they told him constantly how the camera loved him, that his inner eros shone through and could capture anyone in its grasp. 

Yuuri was showing off intentionally, wanting to once again tease Viktor with what might be possible. Viktor probably knew exactly what Yuuri was up to but his expressions and demeanor never changed, at least not in a noticeable manner. Yuuri had no clue what Viktor was thinking. The Russian certainly formed an opinion of his charge after last night, one that Yuuri knew wasn't entirely untrue. There were parts of his nature, of whatever made the long forgotten true Yuuri , that had been hidden away years ago. Lost along with his innocence. 

Life could be very cruel, his father taught him that from nearly the beginning. He'd lost both his mother and sister because that father had owed too much to the wrong people, leaving his son vulnerable to those who would see him as a tool, a means to their desired ends. Nothing more. 

Here and on the stage performing he thrived under the attention. He was wanted, desired, treated like something unique and beautiful. The illusion was his hiding place. Even when he seduced men into bed, when he teased and pleasured information out of them, or when he lured them to their deaths he could believe he was in complete control. It was all his doing, what he wanted , what he desired- it meant he could be the one commanding others, making them do as he pleased. 

Deep inside Yuuri knew the truth. He'd accepted that truth long ago when Celestino took that crying child away from a father who was damaged and unable to understand the harm he inflicted on a boy that somewhere deep inside he loved and treasured more than anything else in the world. Life wasn't fair. It could be cold and indifferent to those who suffered and begged for even a slight relief from their torment. 

The illusion provided comfort.

But it was, in the end, only an illusion.

What Viktor saw was only an illusion. Nothing more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yuuri.......he really does need protecting..... and maybe hugs...
> 
> I found it difficult to sleep until I finished this chapter, the next one hopefully within a week though I still haven't decided where they will be going. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone still reading and enjoying this story.


	4. Death  and  Life  in Las  Vegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how long I will be updating so often but I am obsessed with this story lately so sleep has been optional. Thank you to everyone continuing to read and hopefully enjoy this story. I am finding myself getting attached to these two which is probably not a good thing.
> 
> This is their last night in Las Vegas, a mixed chapter with more insight into Yuuri and the small signs of hope. Yuuri completes his mission without Viktor, and Viktor isn't happy about that.

If Yuuri Katsuki was going to be honest to himself about the whole thing , the business of death had become a bit tedious and boring lately. It was true what they said, that the first one stuck with you but after that you generally become immune and desensitized to the whole process. He was doing the job required of him, no more than that. 

Maybe things went easier once you see it that way. Not people, not living beings who might have family and friends who will grieve or spend the rest of their lives wondering what became of their missing loved one. If his target happened to be a member of his or some other family, some other organization, then the responses were a bit different. These situations were expected, prepared for in most cases and often accepted or retaliated. 

Yuuri found it surprising how many of his targets were so easily taken out. One would think if they were in this business, if they knew all the dangers, why would they take such foolish risks? He could understand the reasons why they might have allowed situations to get so far that they'd have a price on their heads but to let all that effort to get what they wanted be so easily taken away made no sense. 

His current target was, as Celestino told him, part of a growing number of discontents among their organization that needed to be cut down. These people were threatening both Celestino and those above him. It was the higher ups that instructed his boss to eradicate the threats, to discover who stood behind these people who would seek control over the family. Both he and Viktor were currently tasked with carrying out those orders, finding and destroying those who would oppose the leaders. Viktor had been sent by Yakov Feltsman, the man who led the Russian mafia clan his family held an alliance with, as a sign of solidarity. They had chosen their side in the conflict. 

Yuuri felt it necessary to redeem himself. He would do what he was tasked to do, no more mistakes. 

The place chosen was one Yuuri frequented when in the area on business. Through the usual compelling tactics of money and influence, the owner could be trusted to keep quiet about what went on in his seedy little motel miles outside of the strip. Far from the lights, though you could still see them glowing in the distance as a constant reminder, , the crowds the noise and any police who might actually care what happened to someone foolish enough to be led to a place like this. Most of the time victims were simply robbed, tied up and left to consider their life choices. It depended on who and why they were lured here. 

A lot of bodies were discovered in the desert. 

Which wasn't very far from this motel. 

To his target this was simply a cheap, out of the way place he might be able to satisfy his most secret desires. No one asked questions. Questions complicated matters. No one wanted to start thinking over their choices here. 

He could hear familiar noises coming from a room maybe two or three doors down from where he stood. That explained the sole car parked there. Yuuri had come here by taxi. At least someone else had come here for a similar purpose. 

It was surprising what someone would do when they weren't thinking with their head. Yuuri was no exception to that. But he knew he should know better. 

His target came to this place, rented a certain room and waited as instructed. He hadn't gone unobserved. Yuuri would not proceed with his own plans if he didn't feel at least mostly comfortable that his target wasn't aware of the danger and planned on turning the situation around. That kind of thing happened before and he needed to be prepared. Perhaps it would have been wiser if he'd told Viktor but Yuuri needed to prove himself after what happened. This was a matter of personal honor. He could fight his way out if he had to. It was to his advantage that his targets rarely expected him to be as strong and agile as he was. It was as if they thought his dancing was easy. 

Things had not gone as they usually did. 

Something had indeed been altered in his mind and Yuuri found it unsettling. 

Always before it had been a perk, a bonus of sorts, to allow himself to have some fun and enjoyment in these situations. If he gave his target what they came here for it made sense that he found pleasure in it as well. 

Everything started out as it normally did. Yuuri arrived at the designated room, found the door unlocked- these places were too cheap even for key cards-- and let himself inside. The man he'd come there to kill waited naked on the bed, the room lit only by the huge, bright sign by the roadway. No words exchanged. That had been one of the rules given. Yuuri smiled and began to strip, slowly, teasing the man who was now actively touching himself. 

At the right moment the man stopped his efforts and a now naked Yuuri strode with carefully created steps toward the bed. Lying on the bed stand, right beside the lamp and the little digital clock rested a long tie. Yuuri crawled his way onto the bed, straddling the man, his legs at either side of his waist. The tie looked and felt expensive as he reached out and took it in his hands, meting the man's expectant gaze. When the man raised his arms above his head, wrists close together Yuuri had known what was expected of him. The rules were clear. He hadn't objected to nearly anything asked of him before but tonight something felt different. 

Things were not going as planned. He was forced to improvise. He had the element of surprise as his advantage. 

He had to be quick, had to gain and keep the advantage. . Yuuri took the tie, instead of binding the man's wrists he brought it around the man's neck. Having done this kind of thing before he learned it wasn't anything near easy, especially when his intended victim felt the need to fight for his life. Yuuri was stronger than he appeared, and with tenacity and a constant pressure the man eventually stopped fighting. 

Sore and breathing hard Yuuri climbed off what was now just a body, retrieving his phone from his discarded pants by the door. The proper coded texts sent to Celestino and the other number Yuuri assumed to be the ones selected to come and clean up after. That job generally belonged to newcomers, the first step on their journey. The ones not lucky enough to be born or adopted into the family anyway. 

He had little time to do a quick clean up on himself,get dressed and be ready for his ride back into the city. The mission accomplished despite the problems he'd made for himself should please Celestino. 

Viktor,on the other hand, was not going to be pleased. Not at all. 

 

Of course he was there, awake, sitting on the couch and waiting for Yuuri to return. Why would this have been any different than just what he expected? This happened to be the last thing he wanted to deal with right now but Yuuri had learned even in the few short days of knowing Viktor that the man would not be ignored. It wasn't only his looks that commanded attention. 

"You're back." a statement, not a question. Viktor had, indeed, been waiting.

"Mission completed, Celestino has been informed and everything cleaned up. " Yuuri spoke casually, "You really didn't need to wait up for me. I can handle matters fine on my own."

"Like you handled that party?" 

Of course Viktor would bring that up,.. "That was my mistake and I told you I won't let it happen again." he said in protest. 

Yuuri hated how easily this man could irritate him, he could see right through his every attempt at deception. There seemed to be no end to the ways Viktor could annoy him. They were here in Las Vegas of all places, Viktor should be out having fun. 

The man was constantly going against Yuuri's expectations. 

Yuuri leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms at his chest, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. He expected Viktor's anger, prepared for it. But right now Yuuri felt more concern for his own issues. He had to consider what happened at the motel. 

"Why would you take such a risk by going out on your own?" Viktor was more annoyed than angry, how could he be expected to carry out his own duties if Yuuri refused to cooperate?

Yuuri shrugged "Everything went fine, the job is completed. That's all that matters." 

"So you still insist on doing things your way when I told you we could find other ways to deal with these men?" 

"My way?" Yuuri knew exactly what Viktor was implying and anger flared in his own eyes. "Why does it even matter to you how its done as long as its done? How many have you killed for your boss? I don't care how you killed them or why, yet you question me? I'm sure you've had a lot of one night stands as well, probably with men and women considering your looks. I'm only combining work and pleasure."

"Your methods are unnecessary, "

Yuuri smirked at the older man, advancing on him now. "Just because you don't find me to your liking doesn't mean I should deny others. It's part of my job, why shouldn't I enjoy my work?"

"I doubt you enjoy it nearly as much as you'd like me to believe." Viktor shot back "I am simply telling you there are other ways to handle matters. We are supposed to be working together."

Yuuri almost told him what had happened at the motel, but anger overtook his sense of reason. If it bothered Viktor so much, let him think about what Yuuri might have done with that man before killing him. 

"My methods work very well, I am more than capable of handling myself without any problems. " Yuuri said, now standing right in front of Viktor. "Before you showed up everything was fine, I did what I had to and moved on. You complicate things."

"Despite your protests I intend on continuing to complicate things for you. You're too reckless."

Yuuri nodded. "I am, but I think you like that about me. " he moved, walking around the couch and standing behind Viktor now. From here it was easy to lean over, draping his arms on Viktor's shoulders and whisper in his ear. "I think maybe you're jealous, thinking of me with all those other men. "

"That's not it." and it wasn't, but Yuuri didn't understand. Viktor had no idea what it would take to get him to understand. "You take far too many chances with your safety. "

"In our line of work we could die any day, any moment might be our last, you understand that?" Yuuri's lips almost touched Viktor's ear, "Why not live in that moment? "

Maybe if he had something, someone to live for it would be different. But Yuuri had no one really. No one besides Celestino and friends he'd left behind in Japan years ago. He hadn't contacted them in ten years and heard nothing from them so he figured they had all moved on. Last he heard the closest of those friends had taken over his family's hot spring and now it was open and thriving. Certainly they were far beyond thinking about that sad little boy who was beaten by his father. They had families, lives of their own now. Life moved on. 

Yuuri was content now, amusing himself as he first licked then lightly bit at Viktor's ear causing a tremor in his body as Yuuri pulled away. Odd that Viktor did not move, didn't turn and pull Yuuri down onto the couch with him. That was the response Yuuri expected. 

"Too bad you're not interested. " it was disappointing but he felt tired anyway, needing a shower and sleep before their flight in the afternoon. "You're really tense here too, " Yuuri's hands fell on Viktor's shoulders again. "Let me know when and I can help you with that, I'm told I give the best massages. "

With those words Yuuri left Viktor sitting on the couch, watching as he disappeared into his room. Yuuri was nothing if not persistent. If he was going to be forced to deal with this intrusive Russian then Yuuri wanted to take full advantage of the situation. His current exhausted state had kept him from being more aggressive in his intentions, something Viktor should be grateful for. 

After his shower Yuuri felt refreshed but not relaxed as he'd hoped. He wanted to sleep, needed to sleep but his mind was far too up and alert for him to fully relax. It had been a very long time since he'd thought about Hatsetsu and the life he'd had there. In escaping his father he'd found friends without whom he doubted he would have survived as long as he did. They were his support back then, his reason not to give up. Looking out over the city he could remember them more clearly now. Yuuko had been his first crush, Yuuri hoped she was still as bright and happy as he remembered. Her smile could easily melt ice and no one felt anything but happiness in her presence. That was what he remembered. 

There was some comfort believing there was still light in this world, light and maybe love. She and Takeshi belonged together. Yuuri always knew that, even when he'd been jealous of his friend. 

He wondered what they might think of him now. Maybe that's the reason he hadn't heard from them, it was slightly possible they haven't seen the ads or online clips of his shows. Possible but unlikely.

For Yuuri, keeping away from them was probably the best choice in his opinion. 

The past was best kept where it was. You learn what you need from it, take only necessary memories and move on. Doing this, Yuuri survived. 

He wondered why he was thinking about them now, about the past left behind years before? It came to him to hope they at least knew he had survived, that he remained strong and would never give up. It was oddly comforting to think they did know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have the next chapter as soon as I finish it, don't know when that will be. Right now I seem to be in the zone and I hope it sticks around awhile. The more chapters I complete the happier I am that the last chapter is almost complete. 
> 
> I think they will be going to NYC next and Paris after, unless I decide to make the story longer then Paris will have to wait. Thanks to everyone again!


	5. Delayed  Flights  and  Food  Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little conversation between Yuuri and Viktor, and some time for them to maybe get a bit closer. Their flight to Paris is canceled and they must stay another night in New York City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure if this chapter turned out okay....The two next chapters are finished and ready to go (and I am more confident about them)   
> I hope you are still enjoying this story, things are going to start coming together more as we reach the halfway point next chapter, hopefully by Saturday.

Their time in New York City was mostly uneventful, a week of shows and following any leads they or their contacts could find regarding the group hoping to bring Celestino and those above him down. Working with Viktor might have been better if not for the fact that the man was always strictly business, he seemed to be allergic to fun. Yuuri resorted to attempting jokes but nothing broke that shell. He doubted he would ever get used to how completely reserved Viktor could be. 

And the man dared to say Yuuri had withdrawn from the world. 

Dealing with Viktor at times was beyond irritating. 

The more Yuuri came to know him the more Viktor reminded him of a slightly altered version of himself. Where Yuuri sought to control others, the older man sought control over himself. But every time he thought they might be close to being friends, or at least being more comfortable with Viktor the wall appeared between them. Yuuri blamed himself for that most of the time, he still could not completely trust this man. He had reasons not to. Good ones. 

The problems started when their flight to Paris was delayed for several hours, most of which Yuuri spent wandering the airport along with Viktor. There was no way to be free of his constant presence so Yuuri decided to do his best to ignore his traveling companion. They wandered, ate lunch and wandered more until the discovery that their flight had been canceled. 

Of course Viktor was among the group of first class seat holders demanding that they be booked on the next flight available, even if it was another airline. By the time Viktor arrived at the front of the line, the poor man at the counter already looked worn out. Yuuri was sure he'd heard it all and would hear it again repeated several more times. Being a man who generally commanded respect, whose wishes were no doubt followed without question it didn't go over well when many of his demands were refused. 

Viktor was angry, he was tired and he had an elite membership card that brought him considerable more notice than most of the others who were fuming around them. They would be given a room at a nearby hotel, the last one available according to the man at the counter, but it did have two queen sized beds. Yuuri groaned inwardly. Viktor was arguing over their flight early tomorrow now.

Yuuri put himself between them bowing slightly. " I'm sorry my friend is being so rude, traveling has made him tired. We will gladly accept the room and vouchers, and we're both grateful for your help in getting us on that early flight tomorrow morning. "

The man behind the counter smiled, glancing over at Viktor, as Yuuri accepted the vouchers and the print out with the hotel and flight information. They were going to be a few hours late but at least they'd get to Paris in time enough to have some time to prepare for the first show. Viktor gave him an irritated glare and Yuuri shrugged. It wasn't that the man meant to be rude, he just didn't have a clue. Yakov likely pampered those closest to him, the finest of everything and Yuuri thought he probably owned his own private jet. It was all in the way Viktor held himself, the way he walked, talked and reacted to everything and everyone around him. 

Yuuri didn't mind the hotel, or the shuttle bus they and a few others took to get there from the airport, he just did not like the idea of sharing a room. Not with Viktor. He'd shared rooms before with other dancers, but this was different. No one was in a good mood by the time they arrived and Viktor took it upon himself to check them in. By now the man was thinking of all this as a novel experience and that helped ease the tension. 

The room was clean and both beds large, it wasn't a bad place at all and they had been lucky since it was last minute and most hotels in the area were full. Yuuri had stayed in hotels like this many times, but for Viktor this must be a few steps down from normal. At least he'd stopped grumbling about the situation. The airline and the hotel were being more than kind. This wasn't the first time Yuuri had faced a canceled flight and was forced to make rush plans and rarely had it as smoothly as it had now and it was all due to Viktor's prestige membership card with that airline. 

Before taking his shower and changing for bed Yuuri explained that Viktor would have to order food to be delivered and gave him the fliers the front desk had given them. He left it to Viktor to choose what he wanted, he was too tired and hungry to care what they ate. 

He was pleasantly surprised coming out of the bathroom to smells that made his stomach rumble. Viktor had ordered Thai food and probably too much of it, cartons open and waiting on the room's table, the older man smiling triumphantly at him from his seat. 

Both of them more relaxed after showers and with food being eaten the conversation started mainly with them going over the itinerary for Paris. After that there was an uncomfortable silence. 

"Did you always live in Russia?" Yuuri asked , trying to break that silence 

"Always. My parents were born there and so was I,but I moved to St Petersburg away from them years ago. I have only left on assignments for Yakov, he is the head of our family and the man who raised me. " Viktor said " I would say he is the reason I am who I am this day."

"Yakov raised you, not your parents?" he wondered if Viktor had lost his parents as well. Thinking about it made Yuuri more curious. 

"I was young when Yakov took me in, he and his now ex-wife Lilia had been long time friends of my parents and I believe they worked for him in some way. I do not remember just how,... but I thought it an honor to be chosen to live with Yakov in his mansion. In many ways it was considered an honor in the family to be fostered by the man who I did not know at the time, was now head of our clan. " Viktor said "I was not alone. Others were chosen to be raised and trained as his inner circle. Georgi was first, then Mila and the most recent a blonde haired boy with so much inner fire and ambition I believe he will be my top rival in the future. "

"Sounds like you were lucky." Yuuri couldn't imagine being groomed for power like that, surrounded by people who might truly be as family. People who would do anything for him and he would never have to ask. 

Viktor nodded, taking another bite of his food and thinking. "I have a dog there as well, wait, I will show you.." he took out his phone, fingers moving with graceful swiftness as he went through some files until located what he wanted and handing it over to Yuuri. "That is Makkachin, he has with me for some years but you wouldn't guess by how he acts."

Yuuri inspected the picture on Viktor's gold colored phone, maybe it was only colored gold,...and smiled. The big, fluffy and happy poodle did indeed appear loved and well cared for. 

"I always wanted a dog, " Yuuri admitted, returning the phone "But all the traveling and everything would make it too difficult. I don't think my apartment lease allows for pets anyway. Makkachin is cute."

"He is also friendly and I'm sure the two of you would get along, I miss the walks we took on the mornings when I was in the home. I think he knows the city better than I do. " Viktor said, "You should come and visit St. Petersburg one day. I'm certain Yakov would welcome you and I could show you the city."

"I'd like that, " Yuuri had to admit it sounded tempting, "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to but it may be worth a shot to ask Celestino. Considering the treaty between our families it shouldn't be totally out of the question."

Yuuri had never been to Russia, not any of the cities, but Viktor made it sound worth the trip. Maybe one of these trips would take him there someday. 

"And you were born in Japan?" Viktor asked him, after Yuuri nodded he continued "How did you come to live with Celestino in Detroit then? "

Yuuri averted his gaze, "I lost my family when I was very young, my mother and sister first and later my father. It was Celestino who took me in. "

For a moment Viktor appeared uncertain, a shadow crossing his eyes at Yuuri's words. "I am sorry, if you don't wish to talk -we can change the subject."

"It's okay. It was all a long time ago, I haven't been back to Hatsetsu in 10 years now I think. " Yuuri replied "Back then it was just a small town by the sea that few people seemed aware of. I think my father worked with Celestino and that's how he knew to find me there."

it was so long ago sometimes Yuuri couldn't be sure of his own memories. His mind could only be showing him a life he never truly had, the one before he lost his mother. Most of it was cloudy anyway. Celestino had taken him out of Japan and he'd only been back that one time. The time before seemed more like a dream to him now, not the reality of his current existence. 

"St Petersburg is by the ocean as well. In the morning you can wake to the sounds of sea gulls and the smell of the ocean water. " Viktor said "When I am away too long I miss it. "

When Yuuri yawned Viktor smiled. 

"Perhaps it's time for bed, we do have an early flight. " Viktor offered "We will clean up a little before we leave."

The bed was comfortable, and Yuuri must have been more tired than he thought, having fallen asleep not long after lying down and covering himself with the blankets. He was too gone to notice Viktor sitting up in his own bed after turning out the lights with the glow of his cellphone shadowing his face, focused on the conversation he was having through texts. It was some time before Viktor himself plugged his phone to a charger and settled down himself. 

Lying there he watched the other man sleeping, curled up with his back facing Viktor, far too deep to notice anything. Yuuri could have been a world away and Viktor had a lot to consider.


	6. Shadows  in the  City of  Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The argument, Yuuri wants to have fun, Viktor's surprising reaction and more questions than answers.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave in to my insecurities about the previous chapter but I will do my best to wait to post the next one, sorry for the cliffhanger kind of ending

The first days spent in Paris were fully occupied by photo shoots at various places throughout the city during the day and the night for contrast. All at the request of a magazine wishing to do an article featuring Yuuri in Paris as Viktor followed along as usual. It helped that while he was busy with people dressing and posing him there were others who sought out Viktor's attention. The man seemed to be quite popular with a good portion of the crew and onlookers, helped by the fact that he spoke French with practiced ease. 

The night of his first show the venue was packed, and Yuuri found himself in a good mood for once. He had been thinking about what Viktor told him and deciding a bit reluctantly that Viktor had a point. There were things he had to consider about his own future and what he wanted and what limitations might be placed on him. They seemed to be getting along better as well, or maybe Yuuri was only getting used to Viktor now. 

Yuuri had also been surprised to discover many of the dancers he'd be performing with in Paris were those he had considered friends, all of them he'd performed with on many shows. They had once enjoyed long nights of clubbing in whatever city they ended up in. It was easy to fall back into the familiar banter that old friends enjoyed and find himself being drawn out of his melancholy. Viktor himself told him he should do what he wanted, be himself and not whatever Celestino or anyone else demanded he become. He needed to make his own decisions. To the other dancers, models or most people he met he was simply one of them--Yuuri the celebrated dancer and model. They didn't know or even suspect that he even had another side.

The side that seemed to be slowly destroying him from the inside. 

In his younger days he'd enjoyed testing the limits enforced upon him by Celestino and others. He wondered when he'd begun to lose that part of himself, the part that fought and worked to find a way out of the trap placed on him by circumstances a young child could never understand. There was a time he remembered vowing to himself that he would always remain the one in control of his life, despite what others thought. There was a time he was determined to use his talents,use what they taught him to climb his way to a place where he could have power and control.

Somewhere along the way he'd lost the fire. Yuuri stopped caring what happened or where this life took him. he had become someone who simply existed. 

In his own way Viktor had driven him to face what he was doing. In some way Yuuri had begun to see that Viktor himself was hiding from the world. The man had his own walls that kept his true self from harm. It made sense thinking this might be why he seemed to know Yuuri so well. Though Viktor was helping him in his own annoying way, Yuuri doubted he was doing any good for the Russian man. They were not getting along well at all. 

When they invited him to join them in their night partying and clubbing after the show he'd allowed them to convince him to agree for the first time in far too long. He thought it might be just what he needed. 

Viktor wasn't so convinced. 

"You shouldn't go, I believe it will be too much of a risk. " Viktor spoke in that same cold tone he usually used when what he said wasn't going to be up for argument.

"You can come with us, you know." Yuuri knew the others would be more than happy to have him along. "They seem to be very interested in getting to know you. Even after I told them about you."

Viktor glanced over Yuuri's shoulder at the group of young men watching them, noticing one of them waving and winking at him. He rolled his eyes and sighed. 

"What exactly did you tell them about me?" he had to ask. Not that he wanted to know.

"Only that you're the assistant and bodyguard assigned by my agent so don't worry. " Yuuri said "I don't think they'd believe me if I told them how cold and boring you really are. They're all easy to get along with, we used to do this all the time after the last show."

Viktor frowned at those words, "Used to? This sounds like something you'd do all the time, but you didn't at Vegas either?"

"Usually Celestino comes with me as my agent,... at least he started to after he got tired of hearing about these parties. " Yuuri said in reply, "I thought with you here..."

"I'm not going to be so easily manipulated. I will not go with you and it is too much of a risk for you to go out unprotected" Viktor told him "in that way I have to agree with Celestino. "

"I can handle myself, I showed you that and wasn't it you that keeps telling me I need to be myself and do what I want for once. " he countered, annoyance quickly becoming anger "You want me to be myself but I'm not sure you'll like who I am. No matter what you tell me you end up sounding like everyone else. You want me to be the Yuuri you want, am I right? Not Celestino's, not everyone else's-- but yours. "

"That isn't true, I just want-" he stopped, unable to finish what he started to say.

Yuuri smirked at him knowingly. " What is it you want,Viktor? I'm thinking maybe I'm not the only messed up person around here. A night out having fun would do you some good, loosen those restraints you put on yourself and maybe replace that stick with something you will enjoy having up your ass."

"Yuuri..." if there was something he wanted to say Viktor either couldn't or would not say it. 

That only served to fuel the younger man's fury. 

"If you don't want me then stop acting so damn concerned, it's annoying and fake as hell. " Yuuri was far from finished, letting all of his frustrations out at once "If you want me to stop doing what everyone else wants you should listen to your own advice for a change. I don't think you're as cold and boring as you want everyone to believe. How you got this way is none of my business just as its none of mine what you are doing with your own life--but let me live mine. You're stuck in this just like me. So stop acting like you know better or that your way of dealing is better. "

Under Yuuri's words and anger Viktor held silent. The group of young men waiting also stayed quiet, eyes wide and mouths open in shock. This was, after all, the first time they had ever seen Yuuri get so angry. 

"I'm going, I want to have fun with friends tonight. I don't get many chances these days and for once I'm not missing this one. You want me to live my own life but you don't understand how rarely I get the opportunity to do just that. Consider why you're here following me around like another of his pets" he was angry, he was doing this partly because of Viktor so why was he so against it? The man made no sense at all. "Don't bother waiting up for me. "

Yuuri could feel the cage he'd been placed in as a child, though it always surrounded him lately he could sense it growing smaller. Celestino trusted him less and less as time passed, making the leash shorter and shorter. This night might be the last time he would be allowed to do as he pleased. Yuuri intended on taking full advantage of this opportunity, he'd face Celestino's anger later. 

It had been drilled into him from the start that he belonged to Celestino and to the family, he owed them his life and would forever be indebted to them. Walking away was never an option. No one ever left the family willingly or fully intact. Viktor should know that truth. Yakov's rules must be the same. Unless you made your way to the top someone had control over your life, what you did,what you said and who you said it to..... all watched over all the time. The lower in the ranks you were,the more people watching and controlling. Testing the limits was the only way to discover what you might be able to do on your own. When the rules changed you tested them again. 

Or you became like Viktor seemed to be, someone who just followed the rules and went about the usual path to power. Yuuri had always found working within the rules to be boring. 

He was grateful that Viktor had shown him how detached he'd become. Too bad the man didn't seem to want to take his own advice. Viktor was one of those members of the family who would wait patiently, biding his time and making his way to the top through alliances and favors.

There was a time Yuuri preferred acting now and making things happen rather than being patient. He'd never been patient. He wondered when he'd become so lost. 

Walking away from Viktor toward the others he did feel strangely disappointed that Viktor refused to join them. The man really needed to enjoy himself, to loosen his own shackles, and Yuuri decided he'd like to see an unrestrained Viktor. It would be, he thought to himself, the experience of a lifetime. 

This decision had been arguably the best one Yuuri had recently made, at least that's what he thought. The club's music throbbed throughout his body, the lights pulsing and flashing along with the sounds and Yuuri wanted to lose himself to all of this. With some encouragement from his companions there was talking, laughing,gossiping, drinking and dancing. Club goers that recognized them only added to the experience. Pictures were taken, many shared on social media and Yuuri did not care. It would bring their own clubs business, bring more people wanting to use him in ads. They should be happy he was bringing them more money and contacts. That's what he used to tell them when they were angry at his antics.

If he was being watched here, and Yuuri had no doubt that he was, he no longer cared. For just a little while he wanted to be free. He was daring them to make a scene and stop him. It pleased him to think that Viktor might be seeing some of these posts as the night hours passed toward morning. The man was on a fast track to becoming one of those always angry, old before their time members of the higher ranks that lived solely on ordering others around and worrying about rivals taking them out. 

It was not the life he wanted. 

He didn't know what time it was when they left the third club they'd visited that night, talking and laughing as if it hadn't been years since he'd last spent time with them. Yuur felt guilty for becoming so angry with Viktor and for all he'd said, but it did feel better getting out all the junk that had been weighing him down for so long. Even before Viktor arrived he'd been keeping things tightly bottled inside. The older man had just been there at the right moment saying just enough to break his own inner walls. 

They were walking when he heard something unexpected. He couldn't be certain, but along with the voices of his friends and the people passing them by there was something familiar, a voice he knew but whose owner should not be anywhere near this place. Asking that they wait for him while he checked things out, Yuuri followed the sounds into a nearby alleyway where a group of four large men were surrounding someone. The glimpse of silver hair alone told Yuuri who was there. 

"Viktor!" he was too loud, a stupid mistake that caused attention to be focused on him now not their intended victim. It was enough for him to see Viktor attempting to get to his feet.

He didn't seem to be anything but a little roughed up, but from his actions Yuuri thought he was most likely quite drunk. Viktor wasn't fighting back and didn't seem to notice Yuuri was there watching the scene unfold. He was saying something in Russian, or Yuuri assumed it was Russian, and for an answer one of the men shouted again in French. 

His attention diverted Yuuri didn't see them advance on him. He was focused on Viktor, on the man who was getting close and what he had in his hand. 

Everything happened too quickly, he never had a chance to fight back or call the others for help. His own drinking had made his reactions slower. The men were running away, heading out of the ally now that they'd been noticed. 

But they were not down with their victims. 

He saw what happened to Viktor but there was no time to react. No time for his mind to fully process what it was experiencing. 

One of the men knocked him down in passing and he hit the pavement hard, the man leering and shouting as another came up and kicked him hard in the back. Yuuri cried out in pain, curling up and listening to them laughing as they ran away. The trail of blood reaching him now caused him to try to get up. 

Viktor. 

The flash of metal under streetlights, the sound of a knife being thrust into flesh and a call of pain --and all that blood. The images would not leave his head as Yuuri struggled, managing only a crawl along the alleyway to get to where Viktor was lying there bleeding and moaning. Everything had happened so fast, too fast to get a good look at them and he couldn't understand what they told Viktor as they attacked him. Viktor knew French, they knew he would understand. 

When Yuuri got to Viktor the man was already pale and shivering. Those eyes looked at him with pain and confusion, and Yuuri swore he was trying to say his name but ended up coughing up blood. There was a lot of blood, streaming from the open wound in Viktor's side despite Yuuri's efforts to press on it with his hands. 

He was dying. If Viktor died it would be his fault. 

Why else would he be out here so early in the morning? But why had he been drinking?

Where the hell was an ambulance?

Not caring about the blood Yuuri caught Viktor in his arms, screaming at his friends to get help, the mixed smells of alcohol and metallic blood stinging his nose. There was also the fact that he was openly sobbing. Something that he was beyond caring about at the moment as time seemed to slow and it took an eternity for the ambulance to show up. He doubted they would have agreed to take him along if he hadn't been quite so insistent and nearly hysterical. 

Viktor had been drinking, had been stupid enough to come out into the streets alone and drunk despite warning Yuuri of the same dangers. It didn't escape Yuuri's notice that those men meant to attack Viktor, he had been their target and they hoped to be noticed. The fact that Yuuri himself had happened upon the scene must have been a bonus. 

He'd think about that later. Right now he needed Viktor to survive. 

The ride to the hospital was long and horrible. The wait after that would be a lot worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What exactly is Viktor hiding and more bonding as Yuuri and Viktor edge a little closer to each other.


	7. Falling  Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel my heartbeat? -- I couldn't resist. 
> 
> Yuuri and Viktor become a little closer helped by some prescribed medicine maybe, but why not? The further this story goes the more I wish things wouldn't be so difficult for these two.

Many long hours were spent by Yuuri sitting around the waiting room once they arrived at the hospital, a nurse insisting in rushed and broken English that Yuuri stay where he was. He was forced to entrust Viktor to them and wait. This was not an experience he would ever want to repeat. There were stretches of nothing, broken by moments of controlled chaos when someone else would be brought in. The nurses and doctors ignored him, most likely since he was not related to their patient. One nurse had been kind to him during the long hours, speaking English and bringing him something to eat and drink. She showed him where the restrooms were located, the vending machines and the cafeteria. She assured him everything was going well and they would send someone out for him when everything was ready. Viktor's injuries were not life threatening. 

The nurse told him he's been lucky, but Yuuri knew the truth. He wished he could tell her how grateful he was, but his mind was elsewhere. When her shift was over Yuuri was again on his own. 

At least considering how long they'd been there Viktor had sobered up by the time the authorities showed up. They asked him questions, but he had no answers since he didn't know the men and didn't want to say too much about his suspicions. 

It wasn't until night had fallen again that they let him in to see Viktor, who was unwilling to talk and only demanding that he be allowed to leave. If he hadn't been hooked up to an I.V. and a heart monitor Yuuri thought he would have just gotten up and left, not caring that he wore only a hospital gown. After a couple more hours, arguing with doctors and police they were finally escorted out to a waiting cab. 

They returned from the hospital in silence, Viktor having handled all the questions asked of them by police and hospital workers. It was a random attack, that was their story, just some thugs attempting to rob tourists and nothing more. No mention of what the men might have wanted or what they said. It was easier for Viktor to deal with them, being fluent in French, giving them the fake id he'd been told to use in emergencies like this. Reports were made and filed, apologies given for what happened and once Viktor's wound was sewn,treated and bandaged they were allowed to leave. The wound wasn't as deep as Yuuri had first thought, though he doubted he would ever get the vision of blood and Viktor slumping to the ground out of his mind. The men meant what they did, Viktor had been their target all along. 

Yuuri didn't know why and Viktor said nothing as the taxi brought them back to the hotel. He kept silent, staring out the window gazing far beyond the city at night. He regretted becoming so angry and saying what he did, Viktor did not deserve any of it. Being honest with himself he did not want Viktor to go back to Russia. He didn't want whatever it was they had to end. Maybe Viktor would have to return home one day, but Yuuri wanted a little more time. He was being selfish, he knew that, considering the older man had been nothing but good to him during their time together. 

Yuuri really needed to apologize. 

All he needed was to find the courage and face Viktor. 

Viktor spoke little even once they returned to their room, asking if Yuuri was hungry and the ordering food through room service which they ate exchanging the bare essentials of conversation. There were a lot of things Yuuri wanted to ask but couldn't bring himself to even start. He wondered if Viktor should still be in that hospital, he really didn't appear all that well. His skin was paler than usual and he stumbled more than once, waving away Yuuri's offers of help.

Viktor disappeared into his bedroom, not responding to Yuuri's offer of help, since the older man didn't look well. The doctor had given him pills but Yuuri didn't know if Viktor had taken any of them. He didn't remember seeing him take anything though he only drank the bottled water brought with their food. Yuuri took a shower, forcing himself to calm after what happened. It wasn't like he hadn't been attacked before, that he hadn't seen blood so he couldn't understand why this affected him so much. Standing there in the shower he felt his body shaking, the memories returning and it was difficult to rid his mind of their power. 

It really wasn't fair, feeling this strongly about someone who only felt pity for you. Friendship maybe, the companionship of fellow members whose mafia families were allies, nothing else could possibly exist. Not for him. That fact had been made painfully clear some years ago, it was easier to lock himself away and not allow his heart to be intruded upon. It might be for the best if Viktor left, but Yuuri did not want that. 

He had to talk to Viktor. With that intention Yuuri dressed in his most comfortable, a couple sizes too big for him, long t-shirt and left his room. There was light coming from under the door of the other bedroom, a good sign that he was still awake. 

Viktor had been wounded because of him, because he was angry and their argument diverted his attention from any that might wish them harm. Once again he'd been foolish and careless and he probably deserved more than Viktor's silence. But he had to try. 

He knocked on the door before slowly opening it, "Viktor? Is it alright if we talk now?"

The voice that answered him sounded far more pleased than Yuuri expected. 

"Ah, Yuuri, I was hoping you would show up. " Viktor said cheerfully "I thought about coming to you but didn't want to intrude. Please come in."

Yuuri stepped inside, his focus intentionally on anything but Viktor. The view outside the window was actually very nice, the city alight underneath a clear star filled sky. These were the places Viktor seemed born for. 

"I meant to ask you if you had a good time with your friends? Well, before I intruded on you..." Viktor smiled ruefully, 

Yuuri had to wonder if whatever pain meds they might have given him were still affecting him, he seemed to be in a good mood. Maybe he had taken one of those pills he'd brought back with them. 

Yuuri nodded, feeling oddly self conscious still "It was, great actually, you really should have come with us. "

That smile widened, those eyes sparkled like the stars in the sky outside. If he had come with them he would have been extremely popular, Yuuri wondered if this man knew just how he looked. His friends had been disappointed at his refusal. 

"Perhaps next time, " Viktor decided

It had to be the effects of the medication. There really was no other explanation. In the morning Viktor would be back to his usual self and all would be right with the world.

"Those men said something to you, didn't they?" Yuuri was certain they had "I couldn't understand any of it but it didn't sound good and they stabbed you..."

"Do not concern yourself with such matters right now, " Viktor said "Despite their efforts we are here now aren't we? What brings you to my room tonight,Yuuri?"

Yuuri didn't want to let the subject go , even if Viktor refused to talk about what happened. Viktor spoke French fluently so he understood what they told him and why he was attacked and not Yuuri. It was important. But what could he do, there was no way he could force Viktor to talk about it. The man was hiding things, probably in some mistaken attempt at protecting him as he'd been ordered to do. This was more important than the reason Viktor was drunk and wandering around Paris alone in the first place.

"I just wanted to be sure you were okay, " Yuuri said, remaining there in the doorway feeling strangely hesitant and awkward. The oversize shirt he wore as a nightshirt hung loosely over his frame, the neckline constantly slipping down to expose one shoulder. "You didn't look good at all back at the hospital, they wouldn't let me see you or tell me anything and I don't know the language. Then there was the police and all the time they spent with you. "

Viktor was sitting up in the center of his bed regarding Yuuri with a gaze that only made him feel even more uncomfortable. "If I am going to speak the truth I am more concerned about you, Yuuri. I am here thanks to you, but were you not hurt?"

Viktor actually sounded concerned. Yep, definitely the medication. 

Yuuri shrugged "I'm fine, nothing a little make up won't fix and I'm used to that." once again he hesitated, uncertain "I have to apologize for everything I said, I didn't mean it. Well, most of it. "

That brought an unexpected smile to the older man's lips, making Yuuri avert his attention. For some reason he had no idea what he was supposed to do now, this being new territory for him. When he thought about what happened even now it hurt. He knew Viktor was only acting out of kindness, a surprising compassion for someone he had grown close to, that was it. The glass wall still remained between them. 

"Many things are spoken in the heat of passion, all I remember is that I am in your debt now. " Viktor said "Is there anything I could do for you, anything you might want or need? "

Yuuri returned that smile, calming himself enough to tease. "Well......"

Viktor surprised him yet again by laughing, "Yuuri, you will never stop testing me will you?"

Never. That came first into Yuuri's mind but he dared not speak his inner thoughts, that would shatter the moment . This was already more than he imagined possible. Maybe they could never be lovers but Yuuri felt renewed hope that they might be something more than friends at least. He wanted this man in his life. He was starting to need Viktor in his life and that frightened him. 

"I did want to ask something of you, " haltingly, " I'm not sure where we're supposed to go now. I think Celestino will tell me to go back, especially after what happened, but I haven't heard yet."

"I have heard nothing either, not from Celestino or Yakov though I contacted both." His smile faded into a frown as he considered the situation. "It is best if we remain careful for now. But what is it you wish to ask me, I will do my best to give you whatever you want. "

Except that.... Yuuri smiled despite himself. "I wondered if we might be able to travel to Japan, just for a little while. There's a town we could stay in, we'd be safe there, I grew up there so I know. Not a lot of people go there. "

"This town you were raised in, it was where Celestino found you? Hatsetsu, I think?"

Yuuri nodded "Not many people visit there and I think we can blend in. Well, you can try. I'm pretty sure we'd be safer there then anywhere right now, no one would turn us in even if they knew. My old friends, Yukko and Takeshi Nishigori, the ones who run the hot spring now won't mind if we stay there. I don't remember the place ever being too busy and crowded, but I was pretty young back then." 

"You are very cute when you're nervous you know?" Viktor told him, now completely amused. "We can do that, on one condition though. I'm going to ask just this one thing of you."

Yuuri felt his face get warm, hoped he wasn't actually blushing. It had been a long time since he'd felt this way. He hadn't realized he was rambling. 

"I'm not sure what I could do, but what is it Viktor?"

That smile again, sitting there in his bed Viktor pulled the covers of one side toward him, exposing the bed beneath and reaching out a hand toward Yuuri. He wasn't wearing a shirt, his chest was bare as the cover slipped down to his waist. There were also the little taped squares on his right hand and higher up his arm where the I.V and the tubes for the blood they'd given him had been. He couldn't possibly not notice. 

At least he'd taken off that wristband. 

"Come and share my bed tonight, Yuuri."

Yuuri was stunned. "But you said..."

"We will not do that, sorry if I am disappointing you, I don't think I could in any case. I am wounded you know." saying that Viktor actually winked at him. "I simply wish to be certain you're safe tonight. Will you allow that?" a slender hand patted the space next to him in invitation, crystal eyes sparkling. 

The entirety of Paris itself paled in comparison to those eyes, dilated pupils and all. It absolutely had to be the pain medication. 

There was no way Yuuri could resist, though he did hesitate before settling down and letting Viktor pull the covers over them. He remembered the wound on Viktor's other side, bandaged now but a memory of warm blood returned unwanted. It didn't help that he noticed Viktor wincing in pain as he reached to turn out the light and put his phone on silent as well. 

"Are you sure,... that wound.." almost instinctively he reached out to touch the bandage on Viktor's side, giving him a concerned look. 

"I will heal, this is part of our life after all. If they wanted me dead I would not be here with you. " he welcomed the younger man as he slipped into the bed enveloping him in his arms and holding him close. "This is not the first time and it will not be the last."

Close enough for Yuuri to realize something important. "You're not wearing anything..."

"Of course not, this is how I always sleep " Viktor sounded tired, his steady breathing and heartbeat relaxing Yuuri as his head was held carefully in place. "Now relax and sleep, we will plan tomorrow."

Yuuri nodded against the older man's chest. This was something he hadn't experienced before, closeness without the demands of sex. He decided he could get used to it. Yuuri found himself wondering again what Viktor felt toward him. Not lust, but what was it? He felt safe here, safe enough to talk about his hometown by the ocean and the friends he'd left behind. Safe enough to fall asleep listening to breaths and heartbeats, feeling a gentle hand stroke his head and back, and a soft voice speaking words he didn't understand but found soothing anyway. 

Home felt like this once, warm and safe and welcoming. Never expecting anything but giving everything freely. Those were the thoughts and feelings that followed Yuuri into sleep. For the first time in far too many years he felt at peace, as if there wasn't a single thing he needed to be concerned with other than this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working on the next chapters, so hopefully within a week the next one will be posted. After the next couple of chapters the rest are almost completed so they can be posted without issues.   
> The last chapter is the only one I might delay for a week on purpose. You'll understand as we get closer to that ending. New tags will be added when we get close as well.   
> Thank you to everyone reading and liking everything so far! Feel free to comment if you want or not if you don't, I'm happy just to have readers who enjoy what I am writing.


	8. The  Long  Road  Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Viktor arrive in Hatsetsu , a little interaction between Yuuri and Yuuko---a little fluff, a little angst

The hot springs remained, still existing as the last one in the small town of Hatsetsu, now owned by his childhood friends just as he'd suspected. They'd taken good care of it, Yuuri couldn't help but take notice of that fact. Always before he had avoided coming back, deciding it was better that way. This would have been the last place he'd go if he wanted to get away from everything, not that he was ever given that chance. Why this had been his first choice now Yuuri did not know. They even kept the name-- Yu-topia. 

Viktor had been the one making their reservations, Yuuri wasn't ready to talk to them yet and both decided it would be best to be careful. 

Since meeting Viktor he'd found himself doing and thinking things that were unusual for him. 

But maybe this was the right time for this. He might never get another opportunity. 

Arriving at the front desk, Yuuri pulling their luggage on his insistence after Viktor's injury, she was there but not looking up. When she did look up her chestnut eyes lit up and she practically screamed his name, rushing around the desk to hug him.

"Yuuri! I didn't expect you...." she said , then turning to glance around the room. "Takeshi bring the girls, you have to get out here!"

"Girls?" Yuuri frowned

"Can you believe it, three of them - you have to meet them.... where are all of you?" 

"Your friends?" Viktor was enjoying all of this far too much. 

"I told you about them, we were friends when I lived here in Hatsetsu..."

"Were, what are you talking about, we still are aren't we?" Takeshi was suddenly there, slapping Yuuri on the back and grinning. He was a lot bulkier than his petite wife, but no less happy to see him.

It was all a bit overwhelming. Yuuri did the introductions, Takeshi and Yuuko Nishigori - his oldest friends who were now owners and operators of what had been his childhood home. They and their girls crowded around him.

"You, how could you be so rude and inconsiderate all this time. " Yuuko told him, punching him in the shoulder " Forcing us to worry and watch you like one of your fans. Showing up here without any warning too,.."

Viktor smirked, amused at the expression Yuuri gave him, fully content just watching. 

"Its good to see you again, Yuuko, I wanted to contact you before this but-" Yuuri said, uncertain what he should say. 

"No excuses. You're here now and we have to talk. " Yuuko said , she meant business. "I have a feeling if I let you out of my sight you'll keep on avoiding me. My husband will get you two settled."

"Make sure Viktor doesn't try lifting those bags or anything heavy. " Yuuri had to warn them 

Viktor shrugged. "A recent injury, thank you for reminding me to be careful, Yuuri." 

The way Viktor said his name made Yuuri wish he hadn't told them anything. Viktor knew exactly what he was doing, drawing out every syllable in his name just to tease him. 

"Okay then," Takeshi easily took up the two large rolling suitcases and led the way toward the rooms. "Follow me, Mr Nikiforov."

"Calling me Viktor is fine, you are Yuuri's friends after all.""I think its best if you just give in to her demands, Yuuri." Viktor advised the younger man, following after Takeshi, the husband of Yuuri's captor. 

Viktor was unaware of the three enthusiastic girls hurrying to follow after them. If they were anything like their mother Yuuri felt sorry for him. 

 

"You don't mind being here,do you?" Yuuko asked him, concerned now as they sat talking outside, side by side on a bench. "Its been a long time, but it can't be easy for you staying here. We did change a lot of the interior. The memories, though..."

"I'll be okay." Yuuri wanted to reassure her, and maybe himself as well. Coming here had been his decision. and he couldn't back out now. "I am glad to see you and Takeshi again,.... and you have triplets.."

Yuuko smiled brightly. "Crazy,huh,.... they can be a handful but I love them more than I thought possible. " she glanced at him "How are you doing, Yuuri? We see you sometimes and we worry."

"I wish you wouldn't," Yuuri didn't like thinking that he was making them worry over him of all people. 

"Sorry, but I am absolutely not going to stop. " she said. "You need to know we are always on your side, no matter what. I'm not going to stop caring about you just because you made some questionable decisions. We were hoping you'd show up here one day."

Yuuri stared off into the distance, holding himself silent for a long moment. It was easy, falling back into their closeness even after so very long. He should have known Yuuko would still care, it was in her nature. 

"You didn't show up alone though, did you?" Yuuko was now looking for information. 

Yuuri shrugged, "Viktor? He insisted on coming with me. Its his job anyway. Celestino actually hired him to be my handler. "

Yuuko had never once trusted that man, her father told her about his ties to several organizations including the local Yakuza clan. In her opinion Yuuri was lucky to be here away from all of that and he should do everything to stay away. She watched a leaf make its way slowly down from a branch overhead and land in the space between them on the bench. 

"He's more than that, I noticed how he looks at you." she told him " and he's absolutely beautiful. If I were you I would have jumped him the first chance I got."

Yuuri had to laugh at that. "You haven't changed a bit, Yuuko. To be honest I have tried and I think we have a connection but maybe my past is getting in the way. I really don't know what he wants."

Her smile fell, her small body moving as she sighed. "We have to take you around, do more catching up and let Viktor see the sights. The girls have already claimed him so we shouldn't let him alone with them too long. They might give him a makeover. But first we should go one place, just us since I don't want you going alone."

Yuuko got to her feet, holding out a small hand to him. He had an idea where she wanted to go and why. Yuuri's first instinct had been to refuse. There were things he did not feel ready to face. But how could he refuse her? He knew he could trust her. She would never judge him for his past, caring about him and not how many men he'd either slept with or killed. He also knew better than to think she had no clue about how deeply he was involved with Celestino and the family he belonged to. 

Yuuri had come here so that he might be able to find his way forward. He couldn't do much without facing his past. 

The most important part of his past that he'd left behind waited for him in the local graveyard in the family plot. 

 

Yuuri went along with Yuuko, heading to a place he should have visited long before this day. Being here made him feel more than a little guilty and ashamed of himself. He was no longer the boy they had known. So much had changed since then and little of it for the good. Standing at his side Yuuko leaned into his body, reassuring him.

"Are you okay,Yuuri, " she asked him "I don't think you should be here alone but if you'd prefer I can call Takeshi and have him send Viktor up here."

"No, I'm fine." he was lying but Yuuri had a feeling Viktor's presence would only make this more difficult for him. 

"I wanted them to be proud of me, especially mom, but I think I failed. " Yuuri said, regarding the grave marker before them. "You remind me of her,Yuuko, you have the same kindness, the way you want to accept and love without question. After all I've done, they must think I'm a terrible, neglectful son. "

"I think they understand you did what you had to. If you hadn't then you wouldn't be here now." Yuuko smiled, taking his hand in her own " It's good you're here, not just here but in Hatsetsu again. You didn't come alone either."

"I didn't have a choice. He would have insisted on going with me even if I hadn't asked."

"You're being defensive. That means to me that you asked him because you wanted him to come here with you. " Yuuko tightened her grip on his hand. "Nothing wrong with that. "

"You don't know Viktor." 

"I'll get around to talking to him later, " she was curious about this person Yuuri brought with him. "Now, do you want me to leave you alone so you can spend some time with your family? I can wait back there and walk back with you."

Yuuri nodded, maybe it was time. Even ten years ago he couldn't do this, couldn't bear to face them. It would help, Yuuko insisted it would, to help make peace with his past. She waited patiently as Yuuri talked and shouted and cried in spite of his efforts. When he fell to his knees, drained of everything, she walked up and put her hand on his shoulder. 

He promised himself he would be better tomorrow. That everything would be a little clearer. Maybe things would make a little more sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting the next chapter right away, which will be mostly Viktor and Yuuko talking over Yuuri, life, love and such things along with a nice little sunset on the beach scene to end on...I hope you like these chapters.


	9. This  Moment  Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised Viktor and Yuuko, a little beach scene at the end
> 
> some more insight into Viktor

It was impossible for her not to smile, watching Yuuri interacting with her husband and her daughters, her long cherished friend's happiness being so genuine now. Even after so long they had fallen back into the comfortable patterns forged during childhood, with their help Yuuri always found an escape from the chaos of his life, first the loss of his mother and sister, then his father's madness and Celestino's strict dominance. Yuuko wanted Yuuri to feel he could always be safe here. Hearing her friend laughing and enjoying himself lifted her spirits. 

During the four days Yuuri had been here he had gradually opened up again, spurred on by Yuuko's relentless efforts to make him feel comfortable here. Though renovated since he last saw this place it had once been his home after all. Yuuri was the reason his place remained, why her parents, along with Takeshi's had bought it. They all wanted this place waiting for Yuuri when he found his way back. 

She found the last ten years painful as she was forced to watch Yuuri's decline from a distance, seeing him only on magazine covers, online interviews and the clips of his routines she found difficult and sometimes impossible to watch. In the beginning anyone could see Yuuri loved to dance, to perform for crowds and his eyes shone in interviews and pictures. The more time passed the less his eyes would shine, he was simply going through the motions, doing what he was good at doing. 

Yuuko had missed him greatly, and to have him show up unannounced when they had been expecting a Russian man and his companion startled her completely. She felt it her duty to scold him for being so thoughtless by not contacting them at all. There had to be ways to get around any handlers Celestino hired to keep track of him. 

Now Yuuri was here, along with a handsome man she assumed must be his newest handler. But this man was different. Yuuko couldn't get much information out of Yuuri, though they had talked for hours. She really wanted to know what had caused this man to make the impossible happen,. Maybe she was only being protective. Her being cautious made sense, this man though good looking was most likely in the mafia just as Celestino was. He also had that wound on his side, something she discovered after asking him why he didn't join Yuuri and Takeshi in the hot spring baths. He looked like he could use a little relaxation.

"Thank you for bringing him here, all these years I've been thinking and worrying ..." she said, "You can't know how grateful I am. "

Viktor Nikiforov, the man who had caused this to be was also watching the scene as he sat with her. To most Yuuko decided that this man would be unreadable, an intentionally created mystery that no one could ever solve. But it was quite clear to her, seeing how he was watching her friend , that he cared for Yuuri. 

She was glad he'd taken Yuuri's advice , having swapped his suit for more casual clothing, now looking even better in her opinion dressed in that loose sweater and casual pants. 

"Actually, it was Yuuri who asked that we come here, he insisted we would be safe. " Viktor said in response, his eyes still on Yuuri. "It was a good choice, you and your family have done more for him in days than I have in the weeks I've known him. "

"Well, we've known him longer, my husband and I grew up with Yuuri. He's been through a lot.." she turned her attention to Viktor now. "After his father's death it took Celestino years to get Yuuri out of Japan, my parents fought to have him come live with us. I think Takeshi's parents did the same. But there was no use in going against him, they found out he was working with the local Yakuza clan and once they got involved my parents didn't stand a chance. I don't think Yuuri ever knew about that. The last time we saw him, ten years ago, Celestino brought him on some business trip and Yuuri was already changing. You care for him, too, don't you?"

Viktor nodded, "It was, unexpected,..." his voice trailed off, sneaking another glance at the man who'd upended his own life so completely in such a short amount of time. 

Yuuko laughed, chestnut eyes sparkling "He's tough to resist once you get beyond the walls he's built. " she agreed "You haven't given up on him and that's good. He deserves happiness, and so do you."

Her words struck Viktor, Yuuko was surprisingly insightful and honest, "Yuuri makes me want to do anything to keep him happy and safe, "

"Then we agree on that. " Yuuko's smile actually brightened. "But that might not be easy, my parents learned that dealing with Celestino and those like him can be an impossible task. Me, maybe I am still that wide eyed child Takeshi tells me I can be, but want to believe it's possible. That Yuuri could find what he deserves. If it was possible we would have him stay here with us."

"Celestino would not allow that, regrettably I have no idea how long we can stay here, our presence only puts you and your family in danger. " Viktor knew the truth, they couldn't stay much longer. They had to go back. "Do not tell him Yuuko but I've been trying to find a way, to free him form the chains Celestino has placed on him. I wish I could say more .."

"It's okay, just knowing you are trying makes me feel a little better about all of this. " Yuuko sighed deeply. "I don't want Yuuri to leave my home and just go back into that empty place he retreats into. There were times when it would get to him when we were young, he'd break down and Takeshi and I would get him through those episodes. The older he got the less he experienced but the more distant he became as well. "

Yuuko was distracted as her daughters were intent on fixing Yuuri's hair with different clips and bands, taking pictures at their creations. 

"Don't any of you post those things, its bad enough that you're taking pictures...." She scolded the girls who looked guiltily at their mother. "You let them get away with too much Takeshi."

Her husband frowned at her, lowering his head as if in shame and then turning his attention to the girls. 

Yuuko looked apologetically at Viktor, "They don't understand, and they can be so overwhelming at times. I'm happy Yuuri doesn't mind the attention they give him. " she told him, then added out of seemingly nowhere "Do you love him?"

Her honesty was indeed brutal at times, Viktor felt his mind go blank a she turned to be certain no one else had heard her question. To his immense relief Takeshi was leading Yuuri and his daughters out of the room heading outside, no doubt to revisit some places in the area. It was early afternoon. Yuuko noticed as well and called after them.

"Come back before it gets dark out and be careful. " she told them

To Viktor's surprise Yuuri stopped before following the others, smiled and shouted something in Japanese before running away. Yuuko only shook her head and turned her attention back to Viktor, waiting his response. 

"Yes,...I want to very much but-" the words were not forming easily, it was difficult to fully express his thoughts and emotions regarding Yuuri. 

To her credit, Yuuko was as perceptive as always. Viktor was beginning to think she'd make an excellent interrogator. Her open, happy and kind demeanor could easily lure anyone to spill even their darkest secrets. 

She nodded thoughtfully, completely ignoring Viktor's discomfort.

The truth was easy enough to read even if Viktor did try to conceal it. 

"I know, I get it, you don't want to hurt Yuuri and you don't want to be hurt either. Not a lot of people would admit that. " she said "None of us here want to see Yuuri hurt anymore, especially now that you've brought him back to us. Takeshi and I have known each other almost our whole lives, but friendship is only a part of a good relationship. Talking to him all I could tell is Yuuri has no clue how you feel about him or how he does or even should feel about you. "

"I want him to trust me. To trust how he feels," Viktor replied "and how I feel about him." 

"That's good, but I think you need to make your intentions clearer. Maybe talk to Yuuri before you lose any chance at winning his heart. " Yuuko gave him a nostalgic sort of smile, remembering perhaps those first awkward moments with her then soon to be husband. "Neither of you have any clue about love, do you? I guess its good that no one really does. In my opinion when they get back, spend some time alone with him. Hopefully he'll be ready to trust you enough to talk things out and you go from there. Just waiting and sending mixed signals won't do either of you any good. "

Talk to him. It sounded so easy. In theory it should be that easy. They did seem to get along well even if they'd only known each other for a few weeks. 

But in the end Yuuko was right. How could he expect Yuuri to fully trust him when he himself refused to be completely open. In truth Viktor had been at a loss. How could Yuuri understand how much he'd changed his life if Viktor didn't tell him. There were things Viktor wanted, dreamed of but was still uncertain if any of it were possible. He wanted so very much at times just to take Yuuri, throw him on his bed(couch,table,floor.....anything really would serve the purpose) and completely destroy him and be destroyed in return. 

But for some reason Viktor didn't want it to be just sex, a one time thing or even a few nights, he wanted more than that. This time he knew he couldn't accept only a short time fling. He had to admit to doubts in his own mind and heart, wondering if Yuuri felt only lust and nothing more. Viktor didn't want to use Yuuri and he didn't wish to be used either. Yuuko was completely right. He would never know unless he opened up to Yuuri.

 

It had been his idea, the walk outside on the beach, finding a large piece of driftwood to sit on and watch the sunset. No words were spoken, nothing but the sounds of the tide waves and a few scattered sea birds. The slightly chilled wind played with his hair and a few fallen leaves they'd encountered on the way here from the onsen. Quiet, comfortable and peaceful, in Viktor's mind this had been a good idea. He hoped Yuuri felt the same comfortable silence. 

He found himself wondering if Yuuri would like St Petersburg, it would certainly be safer for him there. When he'd brought the subject up to Yakov he hadn't completely dismissed the idea. Yakov only said that it might be difficult. Viktor thought Yuuri might be able to thrive there, far away from others who would negatively influence him. Even if it meant letting Yuuri go in the hopes that he'd find his way back. It was definitely new, this wanting to see someone else happy even if it cost him his own in the end. 

 

"What do you want me to be to you anyway?" Yuuri asked him at length, breaking the quiet "I've tried to figure you out but you're not making it easy at all. You don't dislike being close to me but you don't do anything about it. "

"I don't want you to be anything but yourself, " Viktor told him, "I want to know Yuuri, the real one- not the dancer, whoever you are on stage or for other people, or whatever Celestino wants you to be. Just be Yuuri."

"What if I'm not all that sure who that person is anymore? I might not be anyone you'd want."

Viktor held onto Yuuri's gaze "I doubt that is possible. "

"See, you're a tease. I've heard everything, goes with the job I guess, words are just words Viktor." 

"Then I won't use words." 

He kissed Yuuri then, unable to resist any longer, the pull far to strong to ignore. Maybe it was a foolish, impulsive thing but Yuuko's words stayed with him. He had to know. At first just a touch of lips, his hands threading in that brown silk, asking a question that Yuuri responded to eagerly, barging forward as he usually did. 

The sensation tore through his body like lightning, causing a shudder that he was overjoyed to feel echo in the man he held so tightly. His hands moved to pull his body closer. When Yuuri moved to deepen the kiss, demanding more it made Viktor feel strangely lightheaded he gladly gave over control. When they parted, both breathing hard and both with uncertain gazes toward the other before Yuuri spoke.

"I could get used to this, " he said, still a bit out of breath. 

Good, " Viktor responded, keeping very close to Yuuri's mouth as he did so "Because I plan on getting you very aquainted with me."

Yuuri grinned "You enjoy teasing me, don't you. "

"You need to learn some patience,Yuuri, we can enjoy each other without sex you know."

Yuuri was skeptical. "Really,...now I know you're teasing me."

"I am not," Viktor felt suddenly playful "Not yet at least."

It was Yuuri who kissed Viktor then, claiming his mouth with reckless abandon, while Viktor kissed back and attempted to slow the younger man. 

Maybe it wasn't quite love , not for Yuuri, but it was something beyond anything Viktor had experienced before. For a long time they sat there as the sun fell coloring the sky in gold and red, reflecting on the water, kissing and holding each other. Viktor wouldn't push for more. There would be time to discover where what they had between them would lead. 

This was new ground for both of them and Viktor hoped they were only beginning to explore. For now Viktor only knew he wanted Yuuri in his life, needed him there. At this moment it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, more complications as we head into the angst. 
> 
>  
> 
> I have nearly completed all of the remaining chapters, just need to add some things and fix them up, will post the next one in a couple days I am also going to add an epilogue once the story's ending is posted, so 4 chapters and an epilogue are coming-- Thank you to everyone reading and enjoying so far.


	10. Glass  Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality comes crashing in on them.

The morning had been peaceful, Yuuri woke to birds outside their room, a chilly breeze drifting in from somewhere, and a little more gold and red leaves carpeting the ground outside. Viktor lay sleeping still and Yuuri had no wish to wake him. 

He could get used to this, no matter how impossible it might be, waking this way, even falling asleep like this. If Viktor wouldn't mind if he was going to perform once in awhile, he would miss dancing if he couldn't be on stage anymore. Perhaps he could convince Viktor to join him, the man had a dancers body, as well as the attitude and looks. 

Personally he was beginning to think Viktor was one of those people that just didn't get into sex, preferring other types of intimacy. If that was the case, Yuuri could adapt. For this man he would consider alterations in his lifestyle. He did say he wanted Yuuri just to be himself.

It was an effort, though, disentangling himself from the clingy Russian, hearing his garbled sleep protests and watching as he reached in his sleep,finding and grabbing a pillow instead. Yuuri just had to find his phone and take a picture, believing it might be useful for future bribery attempts. 

It was tempting , a part of him wanting to hit the bathroom and then return to the bed but he wanted time alone to think as well, to process everything that had happened over the past few days. For such a chilly morning he decided some time in the hot springs would calm him, maybe help him think more clearly. 

Viktor's presence had a way of confusing him. He was full of promises and Yuuri wanted to believe these things he talked of might be possible. 

The others would be awake soon, Yukko would be preparing the morning meal and since there were currently no other guests the bath should be all his. 

It wasn't until he left the changing room that he heard noises in the building, voices and things being thrown around. Grabbing and throwing back on his yukata and slippers, Yuuri rushed to follow where the sounds led him, the promise of privacy and relaxation gone. 

What he discovered was a startling scene, he had arrived a bit too late and right on time somehow at once. 

In retrospect Yuuri decided he should have expected something like this would happen. He had been selfish in coming here, foolish in believing he would be safe and that Celestino would leave him alone. At least eight men invaded the peace of this onsen, having no care for anyone or anything that got in their way. Tough men in suits,carrying guns and shouting demands. In the entrance they held Takeshi, Yuuko and their children at gunpoint. It had been just a dream,after all, thinking he would be allowed a life of his own. 

Yuuko was trying to hold her daughters, Takeshi was holding her and Viktor looked angrier than Yuuri had ever seen him. These men dealt in fear, getting their way through intimidation over pure violence. Not that weren't prepared to use force if the situation demanded such measures. He was glad Viktor hadn't done anything that might escalate this. 

Yuuri felt calmer than he probably should have, looking over the men, their hostages and even Viktor who seemed willing to face them on his own with one single gun. Did he really believe they'd let him just walk away? 

"Yuuri Katsuki, " one of the men addressed him, approaching and grabbing his arm "Mr. Cialdani has sent us here to retrieve you and return you to Detroit. If you wish to avoid unnecessary complications it would be best if you come with us without trouble."

Yukko was frightened, she and her husband were holding their triplets close. He was sorry he'd brought all his mistakes on them, and there was only one way to make amends. 

"If you leave these people in peace and never bother them, " Yuuri said "they have nothing to do with anything. "

"That would be your decision to make, he wants his property back -that's our job. Don't think they matter to him, but they matter to you.." 

"I'll go, " he really had no choice, he'd been given no options. "Just let them go unharmed. It was my mistake, not theirs. "

"That's what we like to hear, no need for violence if we can come to an understanding." the man gripped his arm tighter, motioning to the others with the gun he held in his other hand. Time for us to leave, once this pretty boy and I are gone the rest of you follow."

"Yuuri...." Yukko's voice made him look back

"I'm sorry, Viktor will take care of things so don't worry. " he assured her , adding "Thank you for everything, please forgive me all the trouble I caused. "

Yuuri didn't want them to suffer because of him. There was a lot he wanted to tell her but not here, not in this situation. She deserved to be happy, to live her life free of the danger he brought with him.

Viktor tried to rush forward, to stop them from taking him away. 

"Yuuri!" his shout sounded oddly desperate, very unlike the Viktor Yuuri knew.

"You've done enough, don't you think .." one of the men was saying

"Guys like him, think they can just take whatever they want..." the man with his grip on Yuuri began pulling him along toward the doorway. "Come along with no trouble and we'll be more likely to let him live along with the others."

Yuuri looked back at Viktor, maybe they had only been fooling themselves. Or Yuuri had been fooling himself, that seemed more likely. 

"Let's end this now, it was a nice dream but it can't last,right?" Yuuri created his best smile, a well practiced one that he hoped would serve the purpose. "We had fun though, didn't we? Do me a favor and make sure they keep their promise."

For just a moment Yuuri could swear he saw crystalline tears forming in Viktor's eyes, glittering under the lights. This was something far too incredible to be real. Yuuri frowned, confused as he was being shoved along. His back was facing Viktor when he heard him shouting as if he could care less the attention he was receiving.

"Yuuri,...I won't abandon you, believe me. Wait for me,...I will find a way.." Viktor was saying,...

His words were cut off by a harsh groan as one of the men hit him in the gut, bringing Viktor to his knees in pain. The gun falling, clattering to the floor. 

"Viktor, " Yukko's voice, as soft and caring as always.

Yuuri heard her move, glad they allowed her to come to Viktor's aid. Everything fell away as he let the man lead him to a waiting car and shove him inside. Nothing good lasted. At least not for him. Yuuri knew that all too well but he hoped Yukko and her family would always be happy, that maybe Viktor would make certain they were safe. As the car pulled away he watched the onsen fade into memories. He wouldn't forget his time spent here or Yukko's kindness toward him, something Yuuri wasn't certain he deserved. 

He wasn't the man she insisted he was, the boy she had known was long gone and could never be resurrected. 

As for Viktor, this was for the best, Yuuri told himself that. It wouldn't have lasted anyway, who was he to think he would ever be able to stand at Viktor's side as an equal. The time they spent together, the walks on the beach, sitting there watching the sunset and talking about impossible things and that first kiss they'd shared. 

Yuuri would remember all of it. 

And who knows, there was always that slight chance that Viktor was right and they would be able to meet again. That man was always surprising him. 

The car carrying Yuuri pulled away, followed by another car filled with the other men. They hadn't even let him change clothes. That realization almost made him laugh. 

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next three chapters will all take place within the same day, 1 month after the events of this chapter. The first will be Viktor's thoughts and plans, the second will be Yuuri's --- both will tell what has happened and what will bring them to what happens in the last chapter.   
> I will do my best to wait a couple days until I post Viktor's chapter, and when Yuuri's is posted there will be new tags added and notes to be read. After thinking over the ending I did decide to write an epilogue.   
> I am grateful for everyone reading and giving Kudos to this story and I hope everyone will stick this out until the ending.


	11. Everything  and  Nothing (Viktor)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One month after the last chapter, the events of one day 
> 
> This details Viktor's thoughts,emotions and plans before he is finally contacted by Yuuir who tells him they have to meet.
> 
> *****updated this chapter, messed up copy and paste job,sorry, chapter is now complete****

I hear a voice crying out in the distance, perhaps you have been abandoned too?

Come, let's quickly finish this glass of wine  
And I will start to prepare myself  
\-------taken from Stammi Vicino Yuri on Ice(English translation)

 

 

 

It hadn't been a true surprise what happened that last morning at the onsen. Viktor had talked to Yakov on several occasions and he'd been warned that Celestino might act to take Yuuri back by force. He didn't blame Yuuri for going without a fight, or for saying what he did. It was his way of protecting Viktor, to protect Yukko and her family, he understood that and there was little he could do to stop things from happening. Yuuri wouldn't risk the lives of those he cared for,those men had counted on that fact. Using violence would have caused too much harm to innocents and tension between Yakov and those who commanded Celestino's family. The Nishigori's had nothing to do with anything that happened before he and Yuuri arrived or during their stay. 

Viktor had stayed long enough to make certain the intruders were long gone. 

Yuuri must have heard him when he called to him, Viktor wanted Yuuri to know he meant to do everything he had to in order to be with him again. Wanted Yuuri to know he would not be abandoned. He hadn't expected it to hurt so much, seeing his love walk away with those men just when they'd been so close to getting away. 

It seemed fitting that their last night in Japan had been spent simply holding each other , sharing slow languid kisses and touches that never expanding beyond curious explorations. Viktor wanted Yuuri to feel safe and confident knowing that it didn't always have to be sex, there were other ways to express such emotions. There was no need to rush. When it happened he wanted the act to mean something more than just a release of want and need that Yuuri was used to. Viktor had no intention of using Yuuri. Trust would be gained as slowly as Yuuri required. 

The memories carried him through the long days and weeks after , when against Yakov's wishes Viktor returned to Detroit to wait for his chance.

Despite everything Viktor felt certain that day would come. There would be a way to get Yuuri back. 

Saying that the past weeks had changed Viktor would be an understatement, he had never considered that opening himself to someone else would provide so much in return. He had convinced himself that to find true strength he must do it alone, caring too much for others was a weakness he could not afford. His ambitions had always been to make Yakov proud of him, to be found worthy to stand at the side of that man he'd looked up to since childhood and maybe rule the family when Yakov was gone. With such lofty goals how could he trust others easily? There were always those who would be willing to do anything to take that power from his grasp. There would always be that threat looming in the shadows. 

Now there were other possibilities, new pathways opening that he would never have considered before. In time Viktor would not be so neglectful of Life and Love. He wasn't certain yet where this new relationship might lead him but he felt ready to find out. It might be difficult proving to Yuuri that he could trust him, that he didn't have to survive the way he had been. He couldn't offer a certain future but he hoped to offer another way to live--for both of them. That is why Viktor chose to contact Yakov, proposing something neither of them expected to hear coming from his lips. Before coming to Detroit to be on loan to Celestino, Viktor wasn't known as a man who cared very much about anyone but himself. Cold,selfish,distant, self-centered and uncaring were words often used to describe him when people were not in his presence. It was how he thought he should be.

Viktor didn't like having to leave things they way he did and he hoped Yuuri would understand once all this was over. Celestino forbid him from contacting Yuuri on their return, retaliating after Viktor expressed his doubts about his one time friend's treatment of the younger man. Viktor refused to back down, certain now more than before that something was happening behind the scenes. There were reasons behind the tour, the problems they faced along the way and Celestino's abrupt change in heart about allowing Yuuri more freedom. Viktor had learned much being so close to Yakov about life in the mafia, there were always secret deals, private conversations and hidden allies. It was best to never completely trust anyone.

So much time had passed Viktor feared losing what he'd fought so hard for, the bond with Yuuri was still new and fragile. 

All he needed now was to get Yuuri out of the country and under the protection of his family, with Yakov supporting them there shouldn't be any protest against allowing such an action. The only issue Yakov had foreseen was whatever counter measures would be taken by Celestino and those above him. They would handle any problems if and when they arrived. 

Sitting alone in his hotel room as the sky began its slow move into dusk the chime from his phone announcing Yakov's call caused a spark of hope to course through him. 

"Viktor, my son, have you made your decision?" Yakov's voice was one of carefully controlled calm, not an entirely positive sign

"Yes, I'm returning to St Petersburg as soon as I am able but I hope I will not be alone. " Viktor replied, "It is still my wish to bring Yuuri with me. This place is unhealthy for him and I trust Celestino less and less the more time passes with no word."

There was a long moment of silence following his words, something that only served to make Viktor feel more unsettled. 

When Yakov spoke again the old man sounded almost defeated. 

"It's good that you're returning home, much is happening that will need your attention. But that Japanese boy---" Yakov hesitated, searching for words. "I have tried, Vitenka, believe that I have tried but circumstances have changed. Celestino is being threatened, in retaliation he has been using you and the young man to do his dirty work for him. This was something I allowed believing in the treaty we had agreed upon. If I had known that he only wished to gain power over all I have worked my life to create I never would have let you leave this place. What you asked of me is now regrettably impossible."

His chest tightened, "What has changed? The last time we talked it was you that suggested my actions." 

"You are like a son to me, there is no one closer, none I trust more than you and I regret having to say these things. Right now I would advise you to leave, come back home tonight,walk away and never think of this Yuuri of yours ever again."

"You know I can't do that." Viktor didn't expect it to hurt so much, he trusted Yakov, the man would never deceive him. 

"That is the answer I expected." did Yakov sound sad now, Viktor couldn't be certain. 

"Tell me then what has changed, if there's anything I can do-" Viktor would do anything.

"Some things are beyond your control, Vitya, Celestino will not release his contract with Yuuri. All offers have been refused. It has come to the current situation whee Celestino seeks to use Yuuri as a bargaining tool, believing foolishly that I will bow to such tactics and give him what he wants. The family, all we have and will have is mine and I can not accept threats any more than Celestino can to his own position. " Yakov said. "I am only thinking of your safety now, in asking that you return tonight. "

There had to be some way,... an answer he hadn't considered yet. "I can't leave him,..." 

it was true, Yuuri might never trust him, may never be able to open his own heart to Viktor but there was no way he would leave Yuuri behind. If he did he would spend his life in regret. 

"I will tell you that you must speak with Yuuri if you can as soon as you can. I believe Celestino will allow you that though I do not know what he might be planning. Whatever you decide to do after that you will be on your own. I can not officially offer you support or sanctuary. Both of you will also likely have prices on your heads by defying Celestino. " Yakov advised him. 

It was far too late to turn back. From nearly the first time he'd met Yuuri the man had intrigued him, drawing him in and never letting go no matter how much he resisted. The exact moment his feelings had deepened he couldn't say. But now there was only one path forward. 

"It's been too long already, Celestino has had him for a month now." Viktor knew there might be new damage, that the road ahead would likely be long and difficult but it was all he could see now. 

That silence again, "It will bring me great sorrow if you were never to return home, if you never stand by my side again.....but I can not deny the man I would entrust with my life what he wishes. " Yakov said "Still, we might yet meet again, I've raised a strong, intelligent and determined man. Perhaps I can convince Celestino to allow you to meet your Yuuri , and that it will somehow be to his benefit. I must also assure you that his betrayal of my trust will not go unpunished. I will do what I am able to do for you but what he has done will not be ignored."

"I have no doubt that you'll succeed, Yakov, and I will be forever in your debt. " Viktor said "and Makkachin...."

"Makkachin will continue to be spoiled by most of the family here, though he does share an uncertain relationship with Yura's cat. " for a second Yakov sounded wistful "That boy is difficult and he will no doubt hate you for what you're doing. He will never admit it but he looks up to you. "

Viktor's smile was not forced. "It's my opinion that you'll have to keep an eye on him, he will want your position one day. " he said "When I spoke with him last he informed me that if I didn't return soon he'd come and drag me back by force." 

The teenager had choice words for Yuuri as well, things his Yuuri might find amusing one day. 

"That I believe he will do,.." the older man said "Given a goal he is unstoppable. Be prepared to find him on your heels."

"I'll look forward to that. Farewell, Yakov..."

"Travel safely, Viktor. Unofficially I will be happy if you succeed."

With that it was done, his ties to the past cut beyond repair. 

There would be no going back, not now. Not even if he wanted such a thing.

Viktor felt his resolve only becoming stronger. Yuuri had opened his own heart, bringing the light of hope and love into his own shadowed existence. It didn't matter anymore if he had been abandoned by Yakov or everyone else in the world, he only wanted to share his life with Yuuri. It might come to pass that they must remain outcasts, fugitives forever running and hiding from those who would mindlessly seek revenge. 

Yuuri was strong, and Viktor would never cast him aside. They would fight together for their future. 

They would find a way. No matter what stood in their way , Viktor felt certain they would find a way to be together. 

When his phone chimed again, it was a tone and a number he never expected to see there. His first thought was that he was dreaming, after all he'd just finished talking to Yakov about finding a way to contact him. Yet here it was, the answer he'd been hoping against everything for. 

"Yuuri, I've wanted to talk to you so much but I-" he couldn't keep the excitement out of his voice.

The man on the other side of this call cut off Viktor's words. 

"It's okay, I understand. " Yuuri's voice sounded unnaturally calm, "I have to talk to you tonight, I have to see you tonight,..... where are you?"

Viktor felt he should be happy, but something felt off. "I'm at the same hotel as before, different room, is something wrong Yuuri? I will do anything..."

"Then I'm not that far away, " Yuuri said "Please, Viktor,...I'll come to your room as soon as I can. It can't wait---it's an emergency and I- i need to see you. In person."

Viktor heard Yuuri's voice crack, it hurt, he wanted to reach through the phone. "I'll leave a keycard at the desk, you can let yourself in but are you okay? What happened?"

"Just- I'll be there as soon as I can. Just wait.." Yuuri was still stumbling over his words.

The call ended abruptly. 

Forever,he'd wait forever if he had to. 

Yuuri was on his way there, whatever Yuuri wanted or needed Viktor would give it to him. If he was in trouble they would handle anything. He forced himself to calm, Yuuri didn't need to see him upset or anxious. 

Yuuri was on his way. He was going to see Yuuri again. 

Viktor already decided he would never let go of him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One new tag added, a couple more to come when I post Yuuri's side and what happened to make him defy Celestino and contact Viktor. 
> 
> I will probably post the next chapter in a couple days, not sure when I will post the ending and epilogue though. I'm not ready for that, I did get more emotionally involved with these two in this story than I expected. 
> 
> Thank you for all the reads,comments and kudos and I hope continue to enjoy this story.


	12. Everything  and  Nothing  (Yuuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are........ Yuuri's day and his reason for contacting Viktor.  
> Yuuri finally breaks. 
> 
> There isn't much to say, this and the ending were difficult to write, Yuuri especially is put through so much.

I want to cut with a sword those throats that are singing about love 

I want to lock in ice the hands that are writing those verses about a fervent passion

 

Taken from Stammi Vicino Aria(Yuri on Ice)

 

 

A month had passed since his return from Japan and with it came no word from Viktor. Being honest with himself on the subject, Yuuri wasn't surprised, with their mission over there would no longer be a need to protect him. No need to be concerned. Life would return to how it was before. Viktor would most likely return to Russia if he hadn't already and that would be the end. He might even have someone waiting for him there. 

He'd left Japan with the men sent by Celestino to fetch him, knowing that there wouldn't be any use in fighting what was inevitable. He didn't want to be a burden anymore, and he didn't want to be someone's charity project either. He was who he was and Viktor was Viktor, it was time the dream ended. That's what he told Viktor before walking away. It was great while it lasted but they needed to get back to reality. 

Despite all the confusion and mixed signals Viktor had given Yuuri a lot to consider. He'd never spent much time thinking about his future, or what he might want to do or be since that future remained uncertain. No use in planning for something he doubted he would ever have. He had also never questioned Celestino or the reasons behind his words and actions, not until recently. Perhaps if he thought about things enough he could find his own path and be confident in saying that this is what he wanted. Maybe he could live his own life. It could be possible that Viktor just thought Yuuri needed saving. 

He didn't want to be saved, truthfully Yuuri only wanted the freedom to be and do what he wanted. 

Yuuko hadn't thought so when she talked about her thoughts on Viktor. But she had such an optimistic view of the world that bordered on naivete sometimes. 

Nothing was exactly as it had been, whether Viktor showed up again or not. Yuuri had been given a taste of something he never knew could exist for him and he wanted more.

Viktor had told him to wait, to trust him, that he would not be abandoned. He'd shouted those words as Yuuri walked away. Yet weeks had passed and Yuuri remained alone. He'd forced himself back into the familiar life experienced before the tour, taking a photo shoot only a couple days ago for one of his more important clients. It wasn't easy returning to who he used to be, to rebuild the walls that had taken years in forming. Walls that were now in ruins.

He knew he could do it. He had to.

Yuuri always took pride in knowing he was a survivor. 

Returning to Japan had changed everything, reminding him of what he had once felt, the goals he once worked for and all that he'd been forced to leave behind. Even if he never saw Viktor again he would remember what the man had done for him. 

It didn't surprise Yuuri that morning when Celestino called demanding they meet, informing him that he had an important job for Yuuri. The boss had been angry at Viktor, but this time he never took out any of his anger directly on Yuuri. There were rumors eluding to a more pressing matter that demanded Celestino's attention, something more important than the loss of a friend and ally. 

When he arrived at Celestino's office his desk was flanked by two men in suits that were told to leave. He did not look happy. He hadn't looked very happy since lecturing Yuuri on why he should be more grateful for all Celestino had done for him. If not for him Yuuri would have been nothing. Yuuri had been lectured before but this time it came with threats. He would do as he was told, with no further complaints or rebellions and if he contacted Viktor or anyone not approved of there would be consequences. 

Now Yuuri stood before his desk, noticing three items placed there- a handgun, a folder and what appeared to be an auto injector syringe in a clear case. 

"Good, you're here right on time so we can discuss the business at hand." Celestino leaned forward , elbows resting on the wooden desk. "I have one last mission for you, a very important one. The leader of those threatening me and the stability of the entire family has been named and located at last. To our benefit he is in this city now under some alias without realizing he has been betrayed. You will be sent to put an end to his threats."

Another mission, but why did he call it his last? A sick feeling crept into the pit of his stomach but Yuuri forced himself to ignore his growing anxiety. He wouldn't give Celestino the satisfaction of seeing him break. Casually he regarded the gun, picked up the folder to scan the details inside.

"When am I doing this?" 

"Tomorrow . Arrangements have been made for someone to visit his hotel room in the afternoon, one of his guards is ours so you should be able to get in easily. If not you are expected to complete the mission anyway." Celestino said "The gun is untraceable, and other information will be sent to your phone -delete all of it before you even leave your apartment. There can be nothing left that will tie me to this man's death. Do you understand?"

Yuuri understood, but he hadn't expected this. It struck him to the core but he couldn't let it show. 

"So this..." he grabbed the syringe in his hand, the unit filled with some liquid encased in its clear tube. 

"That is my last gift to you. Something I had prepared specifically for your use. As I said, to protect myself and those above me nothing and no one must be left to give witness to this death. That is why I sent my guards out of this room. This is what the council agreed on. I regret that it must be this way, you've always been a talented and loyal associate of the family and there is no one better suited for this mission. It has been a pleasure working with you." Celestino told him "I did offer alternatives but this was their decision. If it had been my decision alone..."

The man was a terrible liar. But that didn't matter.

The words were searing themselves into his brain.

Did he really matter so little in the end? 

Yuuri might have used the gun on Celestino, if not for the guards waiting in the hall outside. He was till determined not to show even a crack in his composure. The gun and the syringe he placed in the pockets of his jacket as if he were preparing for just another routine mission. He left the office in silence. 

One last mission. 

 

It didn't truly hit him until he was back in his apartment and the place seemed far emptier than usual. His first thought had been something absurdly silly regarding the lease that was coming up for renewal and being relieved he wouldn't have to worry about that. Calmly he'd set the autoinjecter and gun down on the table by the door along with his keys. As if it were nothing, just the usual objects in his pockets. Maybe he should have picked up something to eat, he'd missed breakfast and it was afternoon already. 

His shoes removed, the phone in his hand as he went through the usual routine of arriving home he'd stopped, frozen in place as the pain and anxiety quickly overtook him. It was the small lamp sitting there on the table that he grabbed, his first intention had been to turn it on to provide some light, the day was cloudy and the apartment a bit dark. 

Instead he chose to toss the lamp at the closest wall he could locate and scream as it shattered not caring even a little if his neighbors heard him. 

Dropping to his knees, Yuuri wanted to scream even more but his voice didn't respond, he curled up in a ball there on the floor without bothering to turn on the light, his phone resting by his side as he shook uncontrollably. 

It was unfair. Everything had been unfair. 

How absolutely cruel to show him something he wanted, the missing piece that made all the madness make sense tempting him ceaselessly only to pull it away at the last moment. 

He wanted only to die right there and then, to take what was being demanded of him in his own way. What would it matter , he wouldn't care once he was gone. The tears,the sobs that wracked his body came in powerful waves, washing over him and drowning him in a despair he hadn't felt since he was a child. The time Celestino told him he'd been given a position with more power and prestige in Detroit and that they were leaving. He remembered feeling so weak and pathetic back then, just as he did now. As if he truly held no real control over his life. 

He wondered if he ever had or if he was always only fooling himself. 

It was difficult to think, to focus on anything but the fear and the pain that with every wave filled him ever more deeply. 

In the haze of his mind he found himself reaching for his phone, he could only think of one person to call in these moments--the one who helped him as a child. Though she was a child herself. 

"I'm sorry Yuuko, I don't want to bother you..." he was scared, for the first time since childhood he was too scared, too full of terrible anxiety that he couldn't focus, "I just need to talk...."

There was a pause, then he heard her shouting something at whoever might be in the room with her. "It's okay Yuuri, there's no one else here, you can talk to me. Can you tell me what happened?"

Haltingly, his voice broken at times he told her everything except the reason this had come to be. He couldn't risk her life. This was his fault, his fate for all he'd done and his foolish wish for more. She listened as she always had back when a scared little boy was shaking and crying, when all he wanted to do was get away . He didn't want to burden her anymore, but he had nowhere else to turn to. He hoped Viktor would keep his promise and they would be safe.

"Yuuri...." Yuuko sounded like she was fighting back tears as well

That only made Yuuri feel so much worse. "I was glad to see you and Takeshi again, and your daughters-- I hope they have your kindness."

"Damn it , I don't........will you listen to me Yuuri? " her voice was toned as if soothing a child, " Can you still contact Viktor?"

"Viktor?" Yuuri felt renewed pain shoot through him, "Why? Its been so long and they said if I contacted him --"

"Does that matter right now? If anyone deserves to know, he does. You have to at least talk to him and tell him what happened. He might be able to help."

Yuuko's words sounded reasonable, but Yuuri knew the truth. He was caught and there was no way out of this trap. No matter what he chose it would end the same. He could only delay his fate by refusing the mission. He had never felt so completely helpless, so angry and hurt and weak. 

It was unfair.

"I failed, I tried but I failed so badly and it hurts. " Yuuri said "I hate him for making me this way, I hate Celestino for throwing me away so casually and I've messed up everything. I'm so angry but I can't do anything."

He really wanted those walls back desperately now, the ones he'd built over the years, the ones Viktor tore down leaving him here in the ruins. He wanted to hide again, to find a place where no one would ever find him. 

"You didn't fail, you have to know how much we care about you and that we'll always be there for you. I wish I could be as brave as you." she told him "Its okay if you're angry too, you have every reason to feel that way but try not to shut us out again. Please?"

"I'm really not brave, Yuuko, I'm just good at running and hiding. " Yuuri said "and you are always so damn kind to me when I don't deserve it. "

"I know you don't believe it but I'm certain Viktor cares about you too. You owe it to yourself and to him, trust him and call Viktor. Would you do that for me, Yuuri?" Yuuko asked him, trying to re focus Yuuri's thoughts. 

"For you?" 

"I don't want you to just----- even if he can't help he deserves to know. You love him, don't you?" she was pleading with him, not wanting him to give up. 

Yuuko's question blindsided Yuuri and his mind went blank for a moment. 

Love? 

Why did that possibility cause him even more harm? What did it matter now if he'd messed up so much that he actually fell in love with Viktor? The man deserved better than him. Someone who was not so pathetic, who slept with nearly any man he wanted and killed without a thought. In the depths of his mind Yuuri could think of only two reasons to call the man who had been avoiding him. 

One was because Yuuko asked it of him, out of her own desperation that there might be another option. That Yuuri wouldn't have to die. That the man who'd performed the miracle that brought Yuuri back to his friends might be capable of one more.

The other reason being that maybe now Viktor wouldn't refuse his request, that he wouldn't turn him away as he had so many times before. 

"Alright, I'll call him. " Yuuri had no idea if Viktor would answer, he might have changed his private number after what happened at the onsen. 

Doubts and fears refused to leave him alone. Right now they were even fiercer in their assault. It was hard to push them away. 

"Good. " there was a slight relief in her voice now, "It'll work out, I know it will. He has helped us, we haven't had any problems lately and we've actually gotten more visitors than usual. We've been busy, especially with the cold weather coming. We want you to come back, though, we'll always make room for you here. You and Viktor."

"Thank you, Yuuko, for everything. I don't think I'd have made it this far without your kindness." It was the truth, and out of all the things he wanted to say it was probably the most important.

"Don't talk like that, " she scolded him "You sound like we won't see you again. Everything will be fine, I know it. Just pick yourself up, find that inner strength I know you have and call Viktor. When the two of you have it all sorted out, make sure you call me. If you wake us up its fine. "

Yuuri smiled despite himself, Yuuko's optimism and her openness was infectious even now. 

"Sure, I'll do that. " he managed to sit up, wiping at his face with a sleeve. He truly felt pathetic. Viktor would probably find his reaction to all of this amusing. "Take care of yourself , Yuuko and tell Takeshi the same. "

He ended the call, not wanting to hear anymore. She was trying to make him feel better. It was part of her nature to think of others before herself. Yuuri had caused her pain, but she would forgive him. Yuuko had Takeshi and their daughters, she would be fine. It would have been nice to see them grow up, though. 

He found Viktor's number and drew a deep breath, forcing calm before pressing the call button. . 

The voice answering his call sounded more surprised and happy than Yuuri expected, and for some reason brought warmth to his shivering body. He'd missed that voice. Missed the owner of that voice more than he realized until now. 

He had to meet Viktor tonight, there would be no other chances. 

This was, after all, his last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not ready for the ending, I'm not sure anyone reading this will be. I feel for both Yuuri and Viktor. 
> 
> I hope you will make it through the last chapter and the epilogue -I will post both together 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who made it this far and I hope you will read the ending as well.
> 
> Tags added, I think I will post the chapters tomorrow, just giving a heads up , don't want anyone reading the ending without some idea what you are in for. The doujin that inspired this ending was a non yoi one shot I was driven to expand on. The ending is why I had to write an epilogue..


	13. Stammi  Vicino  (Stay Close to Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we arrive at the end. If you haven't noticed the new tags and you're unsure about tragic endings then please do before continuing. There are things that may upset some people in this chapter but not all endings are happy.
> 
> Proceed with caution if you might be easily upset. 
> 
> The new tags and these notes are warnings. I'm glad you made it this far as the angst takes over, tragedy arrives and questionable decisions are made.   
> Be sure to read the epilogue chapter after this one, Celestino won't go unpunished.

This story that has no meaning   
Will vanish this night along with the stars   
If I could only see you, eternity would arise from hope  
Stay close to me, do not leave   
I am afraid to lose you

\----taken from Stammi Vicino(Aria) Yuri on Ice

 

 

Yuuri stood in front of the hotel room door , hesitating and clutching the key card in his hand. It had been there waiting for him at the reception desk just as he'd been told it would be, handed over to him by a smiling attendant. 

Yuuri was the one who asked for this meeting. He had one last request from Viktor, one he prayed would not be denied. 

Why did he feel so uncertain now? 

He knew exactly what he must do, Celestino's instructions were more than clear. Yuuri never once questioned Celestino, there had never been a reason to doubt the man to whom he owed his life many times over. His duty was clear. There was a man who was making threats to Celestino, and those threats must be answered. If Celestino was to remain a powerful figure in the family he would be forced to silence those that might seek to undermine him. It was Yuuri's duty to be Celestino's hand in such matters. Yuuri had been ordered to silence this threat and to be certain no living person would ever bear witness of it. There couldn't be anything or anyone left that might tie Celestino to this man's death. 

So his valued tool only had one last use. 

Of course this was how Celestino saw him, but even knowing this Yuuri couldn't help but think on the past weeks and all the memories. Had all of that been merely a gift? Had Celestino known all along this would happen? 

Yuuri's left hand found the contents of the left pocket of his pants, fingers tracing over the autoinjector syringe he'd been given. His last mission for Celestino, his last duty for the man he respected and admired. A final gift to the boy he'd rescued from a life on the streets. 

In truth Yuuri had no real fear of death. He had long ago accepted what would be his inevitable fate given the life he led. After all the men he'd seduced into bed with him, all the secrets he'd discovered and the lives he had taken Yuuri doubted he would make it to Heaven. People like him belonged elsewhere. 

He had expected he might have been allowed a longer life though. 

Using the key card Yuuri swiped, waited for the light and opened the door. 

Inside the room Viktor sat in a comfortable chair, sipping red wine from what was most likely a crystal goblet , looking up as Yuuri stepped inside and smiling as he shut the door behind. The man's expression was the same carefully unreadable one he usually displayed but Yuuri was undeterred. 

This night of all nights he meant to succeed. It wasn't like there was going to be another chance. 

He'd wanted Viktor from the first time he saw the man, when Celestino first introduced them. He'd never wanted anyone or anything more and it frightened him. In the short time since that fateful meeting they'd become closer, or Yuuri thought so. Their conversations much more relaxed and easy, but there was always that glass wall between them. A wall they'd both constructed. No matter what Yuuri tried, even when he let himself relax and give up his practiced ways of seduction there always seemed to be something in the way. 

Hadn't Viktor allowed him to deviate from their planned mission and visit Hatsetsu? 

The time they spent there in his hometown provided a glimmer of hope back then, hope that he might be able to reach the man Viktor held so tightly guarded inside him. They had spent a few nights together since that first in Paris, sharing warmth and something more but not the closeness Yuuri yearned for. He wondered if Viktor was only being kind to him, was he being pitied in the end? 

Try as he might Yuuri could not yet trust Viktor or his motivations, but he wanted to believe. If there existed even a faint glimmer of hope he would have given anything to see it grow. The fault was probably his, his own doubts and fears not allowing him to understand things clearly. 

Now there would be no more chances. No hope for something more. No time left to see where a path with Viktor might have led. This would be all Yuuri would ever have. One last night, one final request.

Whatever Viktor truly thought of him Yuuri hoped he would allow him one last indulgence. 

Yuuri removed his glasses, setting them on the little table close to the door, pulling his hair back off his face with his hands and taking off his shoes, leaving them there on the floor. Why bother being careful anymore? His jacket he simply took off and threw it on the couch. No need for neatness either. The gun he brought with him he also placed on the table, he'd intended on putting it in the table's drawer but another gun was already there. He'd brought everything he'd need since he had no intentions of ever returning to his apartment. 

Viktor held silent, watching the younger man with calm interest, idly sipping at his glass of wine. 

"I'm glad to see you still grant me whatever I request," Yuuri said as he made his way to the table and sat himself on it directly in front of Viktor. He caught the pale blue eyes as they regarded him and gave his most fetching grin. "Well, everything but that one thing.... strange that you shared a bed with me but you denied yourself back in Hatsetsu. We did things but not that. Paris I can understand, your wound was fresh and there was probably pain. Why not in Hatsetsu, hmm?"

Yuuri casually allowed one of his feet to find its way up, idly tracing the line of Viktor's leg and traveling up with careful slowness up to his crotch. His actions once again providing no discernible results, he put both feet on the floor and leaned forward toward his silent prey.

Yuuri swore he caught the ghost of a smile crossing Viktor's perfect lips . Maybe the man got off on denying himself, that would explain why he never gave in to even Yuuri's best attempts. Maybe Viktor enjoyed how frustrated he knew Yuuri must be. Tonight of all nights Yuuri was in no mood for their usual play. The game was over, meaningless. Whether or not Viktor truly cared for him, whether or not his feelings would ever be returned, Yuuri knew how he himself felt. He very much wanted to possess this man and be his in return. 

He wondered if what he felt might be love, it was a possibility that even someone like him could feel such a strong emotion toward someone else. 

If this was indeed love, If his love remained forever unrequited it no longer mattered. This man who had never ceased to surprise and delight was fated to be Yuuri's first and last love. 

So be it. 

"You did say this was an emergency." Viktor finished sipping his wine , his slender fingers still wrapped around the goblet as he set it down, some red liquid remaining inside. 

"I did say that, " Yuuri said, it was really. 

"I was glad you were able to contact me, there's something I wanted to talk to you about." Viktor did sound pleased to see him, sensing this urged Yuuri on with his own plans.

"We can talk later,...." Yuuri reached into a pocket, finding what he sought ,one bottle he placed on the table and the other item he offered to Viktor. "First, can you tell me about this. Will it be painful?"

Viktor's eyes widened for a moment, betraying his shock, then he was frowning as he held the object in his hand,inspecting it before muttering words in Russian that Yuuri assumed to be swears from the tone of his voice. The response was unexpected, as were the myriad of emotions crossing that beautiful face. In the end Viktor sighed deeply, resolving himself to the situation. To Yuuri's surprise he appeared almost defeated. 

He guessed he would never understand this man. 

"So, this is how it must be." not meeting Yuuri's gaze he returned the object. " A thrust into your thigh, or your upper arm, and you'll be too out of to care about any pain almost immediately. It will be over fairly quickly after that."

Yuuri picked it back up, considering it thoughtfully before tossing it onto a nearby chair. "Really? Not such a bad ending then. The last weeks were fun, with all that traveling, though dealing with me must have been such a pain. It's good you let me visit home again,too. It was more than I hoped for. I think I finally can accept myself and my past now." he said "I asked you to meet me here hoping you would grant me one last thing, Viktor. "

He'd found peace there, with his family and with all the terrible things he'd done during this short and meaningless life. Yuuri wondered what might have been if their lives had been different, if they'd met before all this mess. Maybe even if he'd had a little more time to become someone worthy to stand at Viktor's side. There was no harm in dreaming. Not now. 

When Viktor returned his gaze to Yuuri , Yuuri leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips. He felt surprisingly awkward in the moment, much like he had back in Paris, as hesitant and uncertain as a teenager experiencing first love. His mind actually felt giddy, a light shudder passing through his body as their lips touched. He smiled , locking his gaze onto the older man's and was pleased to feel the warmth growing between them. 

How could he deny himself now? 

"Just this once let me be yours, " Yuuri spoke in a soft plea now,his hands resting on Viktor's knees now. "Whatever you think of me, just let me share my one last night with you. Do you want me to beg?"

He would, even if Viktor just asked him to. Yuuri would do anything Viktor wanted. 

The goblet fell unchecked onto the carpet, spilling what remained of the wine as Viktor once again surprised him by returning the offered kiss but increasing the intensity a thousand times. Yuuri found himself being shoved back onto the table, staring dazedly up at the man whose eyes now burned with a passion Yuuri never expected to see. He could swear he felt Viktor shaking as he hurriedly began to remove all barriers between them with surprising desperation, the platinum haired man grabbing at the bottle Yuuri placed on the table. 

"I dreamed of you like this." Yuuri told him dazedly,still breathing hard from the effects of that kiss. This could still be a dream. 

It was everything he could have hoped for, far more than he imagined. The first time hard and fast and desperate before either of them were completely undressed. Viktor had turned Yuuri around, barely giving much effort into preparation before driving into him from behind. He might have been quite loud in his responses but he didn't care. Still immersed in the aftereffects Viktor turned Yuuri to face him then, pulling him into his lap. This time it was slow, careful as kisses and touches lingered and passion built layer by layer until exploding throughout their bodies. Yuuri's hands threaded into the fine, silken white of Viktor's hair pulling him into a feverish kiss as the waves crashed over him over and over, looking down into eyes bright with cold fire. 

He didn't want this to end. 

He just wanted more. 

Viktor met all of his demands without question, in turn Yuuri felt obliged to return all favors given. It was such a beautiful, noisy and hot mess he felt as if his mind was floating, drifting somewhere wrapped in pleasure. 

It didn't seem to matter how many times or whatever position they shared, it wasn't enough. Yuuri doubted it could ever possibly be enough. He'd forever want more, even when they collapsed exhausted onto the bed they'd somehow found themselves on. A short nap could be allowed, but Yuuri knew he had to be up early to clean up and complete his mission. In the end it was sad and sweet and lonely. 

 

 

"You're leaving ?" Viktor asked him, sitting on the room's couch and looking absolutely adorable in his current disheveled state, perfect lips swollen and red, marks on his pale skin, pants undone,shirt unbuttoned and hair a mess. 

Yuuri really didn't think Viktor had ever looked sexier than he did at that moment. 

It was all Yuuri could do just to keep from claiming one more kiss, but he thought he'd pushed his luck far enough. No need to destroy the illusion. He had enough to carry with him now. More than enough. 

"Have to get ready, at least now I can't say I have any regrets. Thanks to you, Vitya." He turned to smile at the other man, reaching for the door handle and feeling genuinely happy for the moment. He didn't want Viktor to think he was weak or sad. "Take care of yourself and live a long and happy life. Too bad I couldn't check out St. Petersburg and meet Makkachin. You gave me some of my happiest memories."

He meant those words. Viktor, at least, should be allowed a better life. Let him go back to Russia, find whoever he's supposed to spend his life with and grow old. He liked thinking of Viktor one day heading Russia's post powerful mafia family, as cold and serious as ever. Maybe once in awhile he'd think about the time he spent with that screwed up mess that was Yuuri Katsuki. 

"It's cold there this time of year. Winter is long and gray." Viktor told him, rising from his seat and walking toward Yuuri. "Without you it will be too lonely." 

Was it winter already, or would it soon be winter? Yuuri wasn't sure. Somewhere along the way he'd lost track of time. 

Didn't he have a birthday coming up? That was an odd thing to come to his mind, or maybe not. Yuuri had no idea what crossed someone's mind when facing death. He gathered his things, making certain he wouldn't leave anything behind. No need to endanger Viktor's life as well. 

Before Yuuri could grasp the door handle, before he could process those words, Viktor was there, holding him tightly from behind in a grip that spoke of that hidden strength he possessed. The younger man went stiff, uncertain what he should do in this unexpected situation. 

"Yuuri,..." Viktor sounded calm, certain, speaking a Russian word in Yuuri's ear before continuing "You still do not understand, do you?"

"You never made it easy to figure out what 's going on in that mind of yours." Yuuri said 

Viktor actually held his captive tighter. "As I should have guessed it's my fault then." 

"What are you talking about?" now he was a bit irritated, Viktor seemed intent on ruining the moment, shattering this final illusion. 

"You will not go alone, I will not allow that. Leave here and do not look back. No matter what, keep walking -- " Viktor's tone spoke now of forced calm, there was something off about this man right now and it was making Yuuri uneasy. 

A sudden chill ran down Yuuri's spine as he was released and did as he was asked, not turning to regard Viktor as he left the room. It only grew in intensity as he opened the door, stepping outside into the hallway. He had to force himself to move, to keep moving, his steps too slow. Before the door closed he swore he could hear a familiar noise, something being quickly retrieved from a drawer. Yuuri hesitated , something wasn't quite right about this. Not at all. His senses were shoved into high alert. 

A couple steps away and before the door shut he heard Viktor's voice speaking words he never expected to hear. Not from anyone, certainly not the legendary Viktor Nikiforov, the most trusted of Yakov Feltsman's associates who called him his son. 

"I'll find you when we get to Hell, I promise, " the voice told him, followed by the unmistakable sounds Yuuri knew very well. He knew what Viktor kept in that drawer. "Wherever we end up I will find you."

Yuuri's mind screamed at him. This was wrong, Viktor couldn't be so unfair . Not now of all times. Why was he doing this now? 

It hurt, his heart was beating too fast and it hurt so much.

Another step, still forced. Still slow. He did not want to move, his body and mind fighting against his heart. He wanted to turn around and stop this from happening. He could still hear Viktor's voice, thick now as emotion always seemed to enhance his accent. Yuuri told himself to keep walking, the elevator wasn't that far away. The hour was early, no one else was roaming the hallway. 

Did he have time to stop this? That would only delay their deaths. But Viktor did not have to do this, he had to know that. 

A few more steps. 

"I love you Yuuri. " 

No.

Viktor was always surprising Yuuri. It was a constant source of both wonder and irritation. 

Why had he held his silence? When had his feelings changed? 

Why now? 

BANG!

It struck into his very soul. 

With that sound it was over. Yuuri wanted to scream but there would be enough attention and he needed to get away. He wanted to stay but to what end? 

There was no possible way to stop the tears or the pain as it coursed like lightning through his body. But he could not go back. There was no way either of them could go back.

"Idiot." Yuuri spoke only to himself of the man in such a needless rush to get to their destination before him. 

He slipped past as guests were coming out of their rooms, taking the elevator down to the lobby. In the growing confusion it should be an easy escape. 

Why had Viktor been so stupid? There had to be other ways. It wasn't at all what Yuuri wanted.

But somehow it a strangely fitting end since the more he thought about things, the more he wondered which of them had been the biggest idiot. 

Arriving in the lobby he could hear distant sirens, hearing the now overwhelmed attendant on duty fielding calls and a growing crowd at the front desk. In all the chaos no one would see him, no-one would remember he had ever been there. 

Walking out on to the street Yuuri wondered if Viktor was right. They were certainly both headed to the same place but to be allowed to find each other might be far too much to ask. It would be sad to think there wouldn't be anything in the end, that such a desperate act meant nothing. That after this they would both simply become nothing. 

It wouldn't be long before he'd know either way. 

In the end, though, he truly had no regrets. 

If you just wait a little longer, Viktor, maybe we can find some way to work things out. I'll only be a little while longer here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending I knew was coming but still dreaded. A lot of emotion went into this one.
> 
> I usually write endings before framing a story and like I said, this inspiration came from a doujinshi I read. But I couldn't just let it end like this so I wrote the epilogue bringing everything to a close.   
> Celestino's fate is implied, the one responsible is a bit surprising. Maybe.


	14. And  Never  Leave  Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> endings and beginnings as Viktor returns to Yuuri, goodbyes are said and a future planned.

Your hands, your legs  
My hands, my legs,  
And our heartbeats  
Are blending together  
Let's leave together  
I'm ready now

\-----taken from Stammi Vicino Aria, Yuri On Ice

 

\------------------------------------------ About Six Months Later---------------------------

 

It was something few of the residents of Hatsetsu had seen in their town. It wasn't every day a black, expensive car with a uniformed driver drove through the streets so of course it drew attention. Attention was something Yuri Plisetsky definitely did not want right now. He didn't want to be here at all and let everyone unlucky enough to cross his path every step of the way here know exactly how he felt on the matter. 

"Why are we doing this? He belongs in Russia with us, we're his family." Yuri said the question he'd repeated often lately.

Sitting with Yakov was that irritated and often demanding teenage boy with gold hair and green eyes,passing time by glaring at anyone who dared look at them. Both of them were dressed in black suits, long black dress coats and scarves against the early spring chill. Yakov's scarf being white and Yuri's red. Placed between them was a large framed picture of Viktor Nikiforov, professionally done only months before the events leading to them traveling here. Yakov himself held the other object in black gloved hands, an ornately decorated large urn. This was Viktor and Yakov had spent long nights considering what he should do only to find the solution obvious. 

He would let Viktor be where he'd wished to be and Yakov would personally take him there. The Nishigori family had been overjoyed when he'd contacted them, telling him about the little shrine in their home and that they'd gladly delay their plans so Yuuri and Viktor would be interred together. 

Only one person had dared to argue against his decision. In truth,Yakov expected no less from the one he was now training as his successor. That, too , had been a difficult thing for the old man to do. He hoped Yuri would one day learn restraint and tact. 

The young man had been complaining through almost their whole journey from St Petersburg. If not for the fact that he thought it better to keep an eye on him, Yakov might have left him back home. But this was something Yuri would regret later if he was not here. Yuri needed to learn that sometimes you did things because it was the right choice and not because of what you might want. Though not his son by blood, Viktor would always be a son by choice and Yakov would honor his son's wishes. 

"You know why we've come here Yuri, " Yakov had dealt with this young man too often not to be at ease. "one day you will understand. "

Yuri made a derisive sound, "Never." 

"Be respectful, Yura. We do this for Viktor and it is usually better to make allies and not enemies when dealing with others. " Yakov said "You are still young and have much yet to learn. " 

In Yuri's eyes Yakov was giving them something that was not theirs, an action he could not understand. Viktor Nikiforov belonged in Russia, his homeland, and not so far away in this odd and foreign land. It would be too far for Yuri to come and complain to him about Yakov and the others treating him like a child, even though he was sent on missions now. He'd brought down that Celestino bastard, hadn't he, only to be scolded for being needlessly cruel. The man deserved what he got. Not for the sake of that Japanese Yuuri, but for Yakov and the family.

Such betrayal was unforgivable. Not taking action would have made them appear weak and that was unacceptable. 

Yuri was anything but weak.

The day was bright, the sky dotted by clouds and the breeze carrying the scent of cherry blossoms along with a scattering of petals. It was a strangely nice day for what they had come to do. 

Arriving at their destination the driver got out,opened the passenger doors and then went about retrieving their bags. To further irritate the young man they would be staying for a couple days, or at least until Yakov was certain everything would be settled. Besides their primary reason for coming all this way there were promises to keep. Yakov had decided to be this family's benefactor, something else adding to Yuri's unease. The old man was right, he didn't understand and doubted he ever wanted to. 

Standing there at the entrance holding Viktor's picture the door opened before they could open it and a small, almost frail looking woman with red/brown hair and chestnut eyes met them. Introductions were made once they stepped inside as a man who must be her husband and three young girls appeared as well--all wearing black but smiling. 

"Here, " Yuri handed over the picture to her "This is for you. "

He was completely shocked when she accepted it , made a noise he couldn't define and actually hugged him. If not for Yakov's gaze warning him against the idea Yuri would have pushed her away. The woman had no concept of personal space.

"Thank you both so much for this," there were tears in her eyes but she was still smiling as she pulled away to step back and bow to them. "Yuuri will be pleased now that Viktor will be with him."

"It is the least I can do for my son" Yakov assured her

From here she led them to a small room where a picture of the one that caused this was displayed and Viktor's picture was placed next to it. There were sticks of incense giving a light aroma. This must be the shrine Yakov told him about , the reason they'd brought this picture. The urn was placed next to the far less ornate one sitting there as well.

Tomorrow would be the ceremony. The day when they would be leaving Viktor hear in this far away land in the ground alongside that man. 

There was conversation he barely paid attention to, Yakov forcing him along wit the energetic woman called Yuuko into talking. She was remarkably easy to talk to and much kinder than he expected. Knowing she would be here to look after Viktor eased his mind somewhat. Dinner was also very good and conversation drifted into how Yakov intended on helping this family. Their main concern was for their daughters just as it should be in Yuri's mind. He decided he didn't dislike this family, though he would never admit such a thing for anything. 

Perhaps tomorrow, after the ceremony and the gathering at the Nishigori home he might be persuaded to try out the hot springs. Yakov would need a lot more convincing. 

This wasn't a bad place, far from it. The area was quiet and pretty, the family honest and kind--but it wasn't home. Yuri did not like the thought of leaving Viktor here. But he couldn't go against Yakov's decision. Above all else the old man was his boss. He would force himself to comply but he doubted he'd ever accept these actions. 

 

The next day was much like the last, bright and beautiful and very much at odds with what they were doing. Yuri didn't understand the language, the ceremony or anything regarding what was happening. The woman, Yuuko, was crying and her husband was holding her. The girls were also in tears. Yakov stood tall, proud and strong but Yuri could see the shadows in his eyes.

"Stupid old geezer." Yuri muttered the words as he regarded the grave, ignoring Yakov's cold glare. "Look what following that pig got you."

In his mind Viktor deserved what he got, which was nothing. 

What had happened, what could that Japanese pig possibly have done that made the man he'd grown up admiring become so weak and pathetic? To cause him to end up here, reduced to dust in a beautiful container now resting here in a foreign grave. A pathetic end in Yuri's mind. 

Yuri felt determined never to make the same mistakes. he would never allow anything or anyone get in the way of what he wanted. He would make them proud of him, his grandfather, Yakov and all that were fortunate enough to be a part of their extended family. He would rise where Viktor fell, succeed where he failed. 

"I will show you how things should have gone. " Yuri said in Russian so only Yakov understood. "I will not fail you."

Yuri meant that, a vow he would not break. No matter what. 

The Ice Tiger of Russia would rise. Nothing would stand in his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story , I'm grateful for all the reads, kudos and comments. 
> 
> A part of me wouldn't mind writing Yuri's story but I would need a solid ending first. I write best and stories flow better for me if I have a clear end in my mind and I can work toward that ending.  
> Having an ending in mind and a story for Yuri,Otabek,Georgi and more I am writing the next part - Yuri will be turning 21 and is about to be declared Yakov's designated successor not knowing that 2 people sent to the celebration have plans of their own. The fates of Yuri,Georgi and those 2 people are about to become entangled in a game of lies,love and deceit that threatens all their lives.


End file.
